Tag: resilience

Dealing with toxic work environments

Linda

A passing conversation with an acquaintance in the days before Christmas made me realise, once again, how pervasive and damaging a toxic work culture can be.

My acquaintance, in recounting her experiences, said sadly “When I set off for work each morning, I feel heavy.”  The pleasure she got from going to work and doing her job well has been sucked out of her life.  She finds this in turn impacts on the enjoyment she gets from interests outside of work.

In this case, the presence of one badly behaved and poorly managed individual has also taken its toll on the team.  People have left and the team is much reduced.  This has increased the workload on those who remain and adds to an already stressful situation.

via GIPHY

This article from Fast Company notes: If you are in a toxic workplace, chances are you will feel drained at the end of the day, so setting aside a little time to reset can help you not carry your toxic workplace into your home life. Then, it’s time to update your résumé and know what red flags to avoid at your next job.

The subjects of toxic work cultures and dealing with difficult people, be they employees, co-workers or customers/clients, have been addressed previously in these blogs. If you find yourself in a position where an individual is making you “feel heavy” – whether it’s a work, home or in a social situation, then we’ve listed some some resources that might help build your resilience.

From LinkedIn Learning
(Access to full courses are available with library registration)

Prevent Toxic Work Cultures as a Manager
The importance of a toxic-free workplace
According to recent studies, a toxic work culture is ten times more likely to cause employee attrition than other factors like compensation, job insecurity, and reorganisation. In this course, Francesca Gino teaches you how to identify and address the factors that contribute to toxic cultures and the specific actions you can take as a manager to build and sustain a healthy workplace. Learn how to tell if your workplace is toxic, the steps you can take to build a healthy work culture, and what you can do to ensure the sustainability of the culture you’ve built.

How to Handle Conflict and Toxicity for Happier Workdays
Respond with compassion, not contempt
In this audio-only course, communication expert Sam Horn explains how to adjust your language to deal with difficult people more effectively. Sam identifies three choices you can always make in a conflict and shows you how quickly agreeing, apologizing, and taking action lets you get straight to what’s important. Sam discusses how finding solutions will get you a lot farther than finding fault and points out the advantages of redirecting accusations. She discusses how being a coach, rather than a critic, and adopting a can-do attitude goes a long way toward making things right. Sam encourages you to remember that no one can make you angry without your consent, to focus on what you want to do to keep a level head, and to find strength in numbers and documented evidence. She also highlights the importance of standing up to bullies and knowing when to leave a toxic situation.

From the book collection

Wait, I’m working with who?!? : the essential guide to dealing with difficult coworkers, annoying managers, and other toxic personalities / Economy, Peter
“Who hasn’t had to deal with a jerk at work? Whether it’s a toxic team member who loves nothing better than to suck the life and excitement out of her colleagues or a bad boss who causes his employees to constantly dream of telling him to “Take this job and shove it!” or the difficult co-worker who isn’t happy unless the office is filled with mayhem and drama, we’ve all had to deal with people on the job we would rather not. Based on proven approaches and the latest research and advice of workplace experts, this book will provide readers with detailed and unambiguous advice on how to deal with and neutralize the negative people in their work lives”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

Jerks at work : toxic coworkers and what to do about them / West, Tessa V.
“For anyone pulling their hair out over an irritating colleague who’s not technically breaking any rules, a hilarious guide to getting difficult people off your back from NYU psychology professor Tessa West. Ever watched a coworker charm the pants off management while showing a competitive, Machiavellian side to the lower ranks? The Kiss-Up/Kick-Down coworker doesn’t hesitate to throw peers under the bus, but their boss is oblivious to their bad behavior. What to do? In Jerks at Work, West draws on a decade of original research to profile classic workplace archetypes, including the Gaslighter, the Bulldozer, the Credit-Stealer, the Neglector, and the Micromanager, and gives advice to anyone who’s ever cried in a bathroom stall at the office. West digs deep into the inner workings of each bad apple, exploring their motivations and insecurities … and offers clever strategies for stopping each type of jerk in their tracks …Jerks at Work is the playbook that you wish you didn’t need but you’ll always turn to–and the answer to your endless “how to deal with a terrible boss” Google searches”– Provided by publisher.(Adapted from Catalogue)

Toxic : a guide to rebuilding respect and tolerance in a hostile workplace / Lewis, Clive
“An incisive insight into the prominence of ‘toxic’ workplaces, detailing the dramatic effect they have upon the workforce and productivity, before exploring applicable and adaptable solutions to this widespread crisis” (Catalogue)

 

 

You can’t talk to me that way! : stopping toxic language in the workplace / Bell, Arthur H.
“For anyone who is discouraged, withdrawn and isolated at work due to verbal attacks–or, just as often, has been provoked into shouting matches and verbal confrontations with his or her attacker–this book shows exactly what to say and do to end the humiliation and torment.” (Catalogue)

 

How to deal with toxic people : clever ways to handle manipulative, difficult, & sensitive people using emotional intelligence / Scott, Bob
“Toxic people are common in the workplace and even within family members. You might be in love with this person or be absolutely attached their personal deeds, but still be suffering from the infliction caused by their toxicity. These people are like virus and may destroy your sense of inspiration, leaving you feeling empty and powerless. It is unfortunate that we have to work with this people, and sometimes the only choice we have is to find subtle ways to deal with their toxicity.  This book has brought to light several ways of dealing with difficult, immature and toxic people. Social intelligence strategies revealed in this book will help you to deal with several traits accompanied with social toxicity. You will begin to manage your emotions and responses around toxic behaviors. You will thrive in your workspace and home without the need to be constantly on guard.” (Catalogue) (Ebook Libby format)

Toxic emotions at work : how compassionate managers handle pain and conflict / Frost, Peter J
“No matter where we work or volunteer our time, emotional pain is an unavoidable consequence of doing business. While the sources vary – abusive bosses, combative customers, heavy workloads, impossible deadlines, unexpected tragedies – the result is often the same: We disconnect from work, morale sinks, and performance drops.” “Peter Frost argues that what causes this potentially crippling scenario is not pain itself, but the ways in which organizations respond to pain. When pain is acknowledged and effectively managed, he says, it can be a constructive force for organizational change. But when ignored, pain can poison the workplace – resulting in everything from missed deadlines to an exodus of key staff to a battered bottom line.” “Based on an in-depth study of this pervasive phenomenon, Toxic Emotions at Work explores how organizations and their leaders cause emotional pain, how it affects performance, and what can be done to alleviate pain before it becomes toxic. Frost reveals the “behind-the-scenes” work performed by “toxin handlers” – self-appointed pain managers who help assuage the suffering of colleagues and enable them to refocus on their work. He illuminates the toll this work is taking on toxin handlers’ emotional and physical health, and argues that leaders must recognize and share this critical role if their organizations are to remain productive and vital.”–BOOK JACKET.” (Catalogue)

Toxic people : dealing with dysfunctional relationships / Cantopher, Tim
“Some people are so stressful, they can actually make us ill. Gameplayers, bullies, users and abusers – all pose a risk to our health and welfare if we don’t take action. This book presents the tools we need to deal with the toxic people in our lives who drain our energy. It explains how to make healthy relationship choices, set proper boundaries and recognize the red flags that should alert us to avoid certain people. Whether you are struggling with a narcissistic partner, or dealing with a bullying boss or a sociopathic colleague, there is practical advice that will help you not only to protect your mental wellbeing but also to thrive. You will understand the nature of the toxic workplace – how to avoid it and if necessary survive within it. If you’re surrounded by the takers of this world, read this book and gain the freedom to make your own choices and live your own life.” (Catalogue)

Toxic people : 10 ways of dealing with people who make your life miserable / Glass, Lillian
“”In Toxic People, Dr. Lillian Glass, a nationally known communications skills and self-image expert, explains how these toxic people operate in your life to harm your self-esteem. Using examples from her own practice, she illustrates the problems toxic people cause – physical, emotional, and mental. And she includes informative quizzes to help you identify the toxic people in your own life and the causes of this toxicity. The “Thirty Toxic Types” are included with their characteristics. And because not everyone finds the same people toxic to his or her well-being, Dr. Glass includes a quiz to determine what is toxic to you so you can avoid those types.”–BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved” (Catalogue)

Rising above a toxic workplace : taking care of yourself in an unhealthy environment / Chapman, Gary D.
“Offers accounts of workers in emotionally unhealthy work environments and how they coped with the situation or left it behind, with practical advice for readers who find themselves in toxic workplaces.” (Catalogue)

 

 

Difficult people made easy : your guide to solving people problems at work / Shakiba, Eleanor
“You’re a competent professional. You excel at the technical side of your work. But so far no-one has taught you how to handle difficult people or toxic team dynamics. That’s where this book comes in. Difficult People Made Easy explains how you need to think and speak when faced with a difficult colleague. Then it reveals specific words and actions you can use.” (Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.

 

Learning from failure

Linda

via GIPHY

A young woman I know recently failed her first attempt at her driving practical.

Ironically, it wasn’t a case of doing something wrong.  She did what she had been instructed to do, which was stop when the light turned red.  Unfortunately, in this case, it was in the middle of the intersection ….

The assessor saw the funny side, telling her it wasn’t often people were failed for doing the right thing.  This time though, the right thing was the wrong thing for the time and place. 


She told me how embarrassed she was, as, up until that moment she felt she was doing really well and was going to pass. I asked her “OK, so what have you learned from this?”  

Because for every failure in life there is a lesson to be learned if you are inclined.  Sometimes it takes making a mistake more than once to learn from it.

Most successful business and sportspeople will tell a similar story.  For all the success – the awards, the achievements, the medals – there have been total bombs.  Ideas that should have worked but didn’t.  The mis-steps and mis-readings relating to customer requirements or the state of the market. Things that go spectacularly wrong.  

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The thing with successful businesses is that they learn from the failure, pick themselves up and move forward.  

My young friend has done the same and booked another driving test, this time with some additional, hard earned, practical knowledge, and all going well, will soon be issued with a driver’s license. 

It’s all about the attitude to failure.

via GIPHY

Below is a compilation of some library resources that guide readers to a better understanding of failure and the lessons (both business and life) that can be learned from the experience.

In this Forbes article 20 leaders share times they have failed and the lessons they learned from those experiences that guided them later success.

Failure has taught me lessons I would never otherwise have understood.  I have evolved more as a result of things going wrong than when everything seemed to be going right.  Out of crisis has come clarity …
Elizabeth Day , author of How to fail

Elizabeth Day, author of two of the books below, has her podcast, How to fail, available via several platforms.

How to fail : everything I’ve ever learned from things going wrong / Day, Elizabeth
“Inspired by her hugely popular podcast, How To Fail is Elizabeth Day’s brilliantly funny, painfully honest and insightful celebration of things going wrong. This is a book for anyone who has ever failed. Which means it’s a book for everyone. … It’s a book about learning from our mistakes and about not being afraid. Uplifting, inspiring and rich in stories from Elizabeth’s own life, How to Fail reveals that failure is not what defines us; rather it is how we respond to it that shapes us as individuals. Because learning how to fail is actually learning how to succeed better. And everyone needs a bit of that.” (Adapted from Catalogue)

Failosophy : a handbook for when things go wrong / Day, Elizabeth
“‘Most failures can teach us something meaningful about ourselves if we choose to listen’ In Failosophy Elizabeth Day brings together all the lessons she has learned, from conversations with the guests on her award-winning How to Fail podcast, from stories shared with her by readers and listeners, and from her own life, and distils them into seven principles of failure. Practical, reassuring and inspirational, these principles offer a guide through life’s rough patches. From failed exams to romantic break-ups, from career setbacks to confidence crises, from navigating anxiety to surviving loss, Failosophy recognises, and celebrates, the fact that failure connects us all. It is what makes us human. With insights from Malcolm Gladwell, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Lemn Sissay, Frankie Bridge, Nigel Slater, Emeli Sande, Alain de Botton, Mabel, Fearne Cotton, Meera Syal, Dame Kelly Holmes, Andrew Scott and many, many more, Failosophy is the essential handbook for turning failure into success.” (Catalogue).  Also available as EBook Libby and EAudiobook Libby

If you should fail : a book of solace / Moran, Joe
“Do you ever feel like a failure? Enter widely acclaimed observer of daily life Professor Joe Moran, not to tell you that everything will be all right in the end, but to reassure you that failure is an occupational hazard of being human. It’s the small print in life’s terms and conditions. Covering everything from examination dreams to fourth-placed Olympians, If You Should Fail is about how modern life, in a world of self-advertised success, makes us feel like failures, frauds and imposters. We need more narratives of failure, and to see that not every failure can be made into a success – and that’s OK. As Moran shows, even the supremely gifted Leonardo da Vinci could be seen as a failure. Most artists, writers, sports stars and business people face failure. We all will, and can learn how to live with it. … Combining philosophy, psychology, history and literature, Moran’s ultimately upbeat reflections on being human, and his critique of how we live now, offers comfort, hope – and solace.” (Adapted from Catalogue)

Failure is an option : how setbacks breed success / Robson, Terry
“Everybody has experienced failure at some stage – and we will no doubt experience it again, perhaps many times. The question is: does failure get the credit it deserves? In this inspiring and practical book, Terry Robson reveals how success cannot be achieved without a willingness to embrace failure – and shows us the opportunity that failure presents us to reflect and reassess. He delves into the notion of failure from philosophical, psychological and spiritual perspectives, and provides the tools we need to not only cope with failure, but also to learn from it”–Back cover.” (Catalogue)

Adapt : why success always starts with failure / Harford, Tim
“Outlines a counterintuitive approach to changing the world by assessing its failures, drawing on myriad disciplines to argue that complex challenges must be met through adaptive trial-and-error practices that do not depend on expert opinions or ready-made solutions.” (Catalogue)

 

 

Fail brilliantly : exploding the myths of failure and success / Davidow, Shelley
“We all spend much of our lives trying to cope with failure; sometimes we try to assign value to it, but failure looms as a debilitating concept in millions of lives, affecting children and adults alike. Fail Brilliantly proposes a radical shift: erase the word and concept of failure from the realms of education and human endeavors. Replace it with new words and concepts. This shift in position has the potential to transform our lives and ultimately reshape our definition of success!” (Catalogue)

Fueled by failure : using detours and defeats to power progress / Bloom, Jeremy
“Shining a light on the baggage he, and many other successful entrepreneurs bring along on their journey to success, professional athlete turned CEO and philanthropist Jeremy Bloom, spotlights the bag marked “failures” and unpacks. Captivating readers with anecdotes and takeaways from his successes, Bloom pulls at the common failure thread that unites him with his audience and tackles the rarely discussed facets of failure relevant to reaching career and business goals. Bloom takes aspiring and early stage entrepreneurs from the hilltops of Torino to NFL practice grounds to the struggles of startup, revealing tactical secrets – personal and learned from popular business associates, coaches, and teammates – to surviving setbacks while searching for success. Making the case (proven by many highly respected entrepreneurs) that success is never linear, Bloom introduces tactics for managing expectations for ourselves and team, recovering and rebounding after defeat, knowing what to keep and what to toss when it comes to failure’s lessons, and plotting a new course. Lessons and practices are illustrated by Jeremy’s own story, which include NFL Hall of Famers, Olympic champions, and insights and advice from business leaders. Case studies and interviews with other practicing entrepreneurs are also presented. “–” (Catalogue)

You are awesome : how to navigate change, wrestle with failure, and live an intentional life / Pasricha, Neil
“We are living in an era with the highest-ever rates of longevity, education, and wealth. For most of us famine, plague, and other life-threatening catastrophes are the stuff of history books. But there is one side effect: We no longer have the tools to handle failure– or even perceived failure. Pasricha shows us that we need to change the way we view failure. Here he shares the secrets to building resilience, which will allow us to navigate change and live an intentional life. — adapted from jacket” (Catalogue)

Win or learn : the naked truth about turning every rejection into your ultimate success / Cohen, Harlan
“The fear of rejection is universal. From being on the receiving end of a breakup to being turned down for your dream job, we’ve all experienced the sharp sting of rejection and grown to fear the risks that might lead to our next failure. After years of relentless risk-taking and rejection, New York Times bestselling author Harlan Cohen has unlocked the secret to sparking success without the fear of failure. In Win or learn, Cohen guides you through a life-changing experiment to identify your dreams, eliminate your fears, and confidently take the risks necessary to achieve every goal you set. Through Cohen’s approach, you’ll learn to want more, risk more, and ultimately achieve more”–Page 4 of cover.” (Catalogue)

Bounce back : how to fail fast and be resilient at work / Kahn, Susan
“Success. Innovation. Creativity. Growth. We all want these things at work – but the one thing they all have in common is that they involve failure. A fear of failure, or the inability to bounce back and learn from failures, is one of the biggest things that can hold us back in our professional development – so how do we learn how to fail well and develop our resilience? Wherever we work, and whatever role we deliver, we all have the power to change our thinking and our response to failure – Bounce Back is here to help. Written by consultant and teacher, Dr Susan Kahn, this book will show you how to embrace failure. Failing fast, failing well, and learning how to be agile and resilient at work is a vital part of being a successful and innovative leader, approaching opportunities with excitement and creativity, and driving forward your personal and professional growth. Packed with practical exercises, inspirational case studies, and a useful resilience self-assessment guide, Bounce Back will show you how to invest in your resilience in a deliberate way, and empower you to face risk head-on. From learning how to respond well to critical feedback, to understanding cultural attitudes to failure around the world, this book will help you be a stronger, more resilient you”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.