Tag: workplace bullying

Dealing with toxic work environments

Linda

A passing conversation with an acquaintance in the days before Christmas made me realise, once again, how pervasive and damaging a toxic work culture can be.

My acquaintance, in recounting her experiences, said sadly “When I set off for work each morning, I feel heavy.”  The pleasure she got from going to work and doing her job well has been sucked out of her life.  She finds this in turn impacts on the enjoyment she gets from interests outside of work.

In this case, the presence of one badly behaved and poorly managed individual has also taken its toll on the team.  People have left and the team is much reduced.  This has increased the workload on those who remain and adds to an already stressful situation.

via GIPHY

This article from Fast Company notes: If you are in a toxic workplace, chances are you will feel drained at the end of the day, so setting aside a little time to reset can help you not carry your toxic workplace into your home life. Then, it’s time to update your résumé and know what red flags to avoid at your next job.

The subjects of toxic work cultures and dealing with difficult people, be they employees, co-workers or customers/clients, have been addressed previously in these blogs. If you find yourself in a position where an individual is making you “feel heavy” – whether it’s a work, home or in a social situation, then we’ve listed some some resources that might help build your resilience.

From LinkedIn Learning
(Access to full courses are available with library registration)

Prevent Toxic Work Cultures as a Manager
The importance of a toxic-free workplace
According to recent studies, a toxic work culture is ten times more likely to cause employee attrition than other factors like compensation, job insecurity, and reorganisation. In this course, Francesca Gino teaches you how to identify and address the factors that contribute to toxic cultures and the specific actions you can take as a manager to build and sustain a healthy workplace. Learn how to tell if your workplace is toxic, the steps you can take to build a healthy work culture, and what you can do to ensure the sustainability of the culture you’ve built.

How to Handle Conflict and Toxicity for Happier Workdays
Respond with compassion, not contempt
In this audio-only course, communication expert Sam Horn explains how to adjust your language to deal with difficult people more effectively. Sam identifies three choices you can always make in a conflict and shows you how quickly agreeing, apologizing, and taking action lets you get straight to what’s important. Sam discusses how finding solutions will get you a lot farther than finding fault and points out the advantages of redirecting accusations. She discusses how being a coach, rather than a critic, and adopting a can-do attitude goes a long way toward making things right. Sam encourages you to remember that no one can make you angry without your consent, to focus on what you want to do to keep a level head, and to find strength in numbers and documented evidence. She also highlights the importance of standing up to bullies and knowing when to leave a toxic situation.

From the book collection

Wait, I’m working with who?!? : the essential guide to dealing with difficult coworkers, annoying managers, and other toxic personalities / Economy, Peter
“Who hasn’t had to deal with a jerk at work? Whether it’s a toxic team member who loves nothing better than to suck the life and excitement out of her colleagues or a bad boss who causes his employees to constantly dream of telling him to “Take this job and shove it!” or the difficult co-worker who isn’t happy unless the office is filled with mayhem and drama, we’ve all had to deal with people on the job we would rather not. Based on proven approaches and the latest research and advice of workplace experts, this book will provide readers with detailed and unambiguous advice on how to deal with and neutralize the negative people in their work lives”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

Jerks at work : toxic coworkers and what to do about them / West, Tessa V.
“For anyone pulling their hair out over an irritating colleague who’s not technically breaking any rules, a hilarious guide to getting difficult people off your back from NYU psychology professor Tessa West. Ever watched a coworker charm the pants off management while showing a competitive, Machiavellian side to the lower ranks? The Kiss-Up/Kick-Down coworker doesn’t hesitate to throw peers under the bus, but their boss is oblivious to their bad behavior. What to do? In Jerks at Work, West draws on a decade of original research to profile classic workplace archetypes, including the Gaslighter, the Bulldozer, the Credit-Stealer, the Neglector, and the Micromanager, and gives advice to anyone who’s ever cried in a bathroom stall at the office. West digs deep into the inner workings of each bad apple, exploring their motivations and insecurities … and offers clever strategies for stopping each type of jerk in their tracks …Jerks at Work is the playbook that you wish you didn’t need but you’ll always turn to–and the answer to your endless “how to deal with a terrible boss” Google searches”– Provided by publisher.(Adapted from Catalogue)

Toxic : a guide to rebuilding respect and tolerance in a hostile workplace / Lewis, Clive
“An incisive insight into the prominence of ‘toxic’ workplaces, detailing the dramatic effect they have upon the workforce and productivity, before exploring applicable and adaptable solutions to this widespread crisis” (Catalogue)

 

 

You can’t talk to me that way! : stopping toxic language in the workplace / Bell, Arthur H.
“For anyone who is discouraged, withdrawn and isolated at work due to verbal attacks–or, just as often, has been provoked into shouting matches and verbal confrontations with his or her attacker–this book shows exactly what to say and do to end the humiliation and torment.” (Catalogue)

 

How to deal with toxic people : clever ways to handle manipulative, difficult, & sensitive people using emotional intelligence / Scott, Bob
“Toxic people are common in the workplace and even within family members. You might be in love with this person or be absolutely attached their personal deeds, but still be suffering from the infliction caused by their toxicity. These people are like virus and may destroy your sense of inspiration, leaving you feeling empty and powerless. It is unfortunate that we have to work with this people, and sometimes the only choice we have is to find subtle ways to deal with their toxicity.  This book has brought to light several ways of dealing with difficult, immature and toxic people. Social intelligence strategies revealed in this book will help you to deal with several traits accompanied with social toxicity. You will begin to manage your emotions and responses around toxic behaviors. You will thrive in your workspace and home without the need to be constantly on guard.” (Catalogue) (Ebook Libby format)

Toxic emotions at work : how compassionate managers handle pain and conflict / Frost, Peter J
“No matter where we work or volunteer our time, emotional pain is an unavoidable consequence of doing business. While the sources vary – abusive bosses, combative customers, heavy workloads, impossible deadlines, unexpected tragedies – the result is often the same: We disconnect from work, morale sinks, and performance drops.” “Peter Frost argues that what causes this potentially crippling scenario is not pain itself, but the ways in which organizations respond to pain. When pain is acknowledged and effectively managed, he says, it can be a constructive force for organizational change. But when ignored, pain can poison the workplace – resulting in everything from missed deadlines to an exodus of key staff to a battered bottom line.” “Based on an in-depth study of this pervasive phenomenon, Toxic Emotions at Work explores how organizations and their leaders cause emotional pain, how it affects performance, and what can be done to alleviate pain before it becomes toxic. Frost reveals the “behind-the-scenes” work performed by “toxin handlers” – self-appointed pain managers who help assuage the suffering of colleagues and enable them to refocus on their work. He illuminates the toll this work is taking on toxin handlers’ emotional and physical health, and argues that leaders must recognize and share this critical role if their organizations are to remain productive and vital.”–BOOK JACKET.” (Catalogue)

Toxic people : dealing with dysfunctional relationships / Cantopher, Tim
“Some people are so stressful, they can actually make us ill. Gameplayers, bullies, users and abusers – all pose a risk to our health and welfare if we don’t take action. This book presents the tools we need to deal with the toxic people in our lives who drain our energy. It explains how to make healthy relationship choices, set proper boundaries and recognize the red flags that should alert us to avoid certain people. Whether you are struggling with a narcissistic partner, or dealing with a bullying boss or a sociopathic colleague, there is practical advice that will help you not only to protect your mental wellbeing but also to thrive. You will understand the nature of the toxic workplace – how to avoid it and if necessary survive within it. If you’re surrounded by the takers of this world, read this book and gain the freedom to make your own choices and live your own life.” (Catalogue)

Toxic people : 10 ways of dealing with people who make your life miserable / Glass, Lillian
“”In Toxic People, Dr. Lillian Glass, a nationally known communications skills and self-image expert, explains how these toxic people operate in your life to harm your self-esteem. Using examples from her own practice, she illustrates the problems toxic people cause – physical, emotional, and mental. And she includes informative quizzes to help you identify the toxic people in your own life and the causes of this toxicity. The “Thirty Toxic Types” are included with their characteristics. And because not everyone finds the same people toxic to his or her well-being, Dr. Glass includes a quiz to determine what is toxic to you so you can avoid those types.”–BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved” (Catalogue)

Rising above a toxic workplace : taking care of yourself in an unhealthy environment / Chapman, Gary D.
“Offers accounts of workers in emotionally unhealthy work environments and how they coped with the situation or left it behind, with practical advice for readers who find themselves in toxic workplaces.” (Catalogue)

 

 

Difficult people made easy : your guide to solving people problems at work / Shakiba, Eleanor
“You’re a competent professional. You excel at the technical side of your work. But so far no-one has taught you how to handle difficult people or toxic team dynamics. That’s where this book comes in. Difficult People Made Easy explains how you need to think and speak when faced with a difficult colleague. Then it reveals specific words and actions you can use.” (Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.

 

The Upstander Movement : why now? – by guest author Jessica Hickman

Linda

Today’s blog is written by Jessica Hickman and republished with permission of the author.
Jessica is an Australian leadership coach, speaker, educator, and author with a core focus on empowering others to own their ability with authentic confidence driving change and innovation. As the founder of Bullyology, Jessica leads the Upstander Movement creating cultural change in workplaces and communities. 
Jessica recently published The Upstander Leader : How to develop a speak-up culture 

Bullying is a serious epidemic that has left so many millions across the globe traumatised. It is behaviour that is encountered as early on in life as childhood– in childcare centres, in kindergarten, in prep school, and so on.

But bullying isn’t behaviour that’s only confined to school yard. It isn’t only seen in deliberately tripping the new kid as they walk past with their lunch tray, and it often isn’t as blatantly obvious as a bunch of school thugs emptying out the victim’s bag to look for lunch money.

Bullying doesn’t just end in school.

As children grow and enter the workforce, they continue to encounter bullies who will use subtler but no less humiliating tactics to destroy their targets. Workplace bullying can look like constant targeted belittlement, escalating to threats and intimidation. It can lead the victim to experience stress, anxiety, panic attacks, disrupted sleeping patterns, high blood pressure, ulcers, and a plethora of other health problems. The victim is plagued with self-doubt, their productivity suffers, their passion for their job is replaced with the fear and disgust they associate with their workplace bully.

Sadly, this is an issue that is extremely prevalent in Australia, which has been ranked 6th in workplace bullying, when compared to 34 other European countries.

Workplace bullying isn’t just a personal problem, though; it isn’t something that only affects the bully and his victim. It also costs companies in terms of time, resources, revenue, and productivity. In fact, it has been estimated that workplace bullying costs the Australian economy between $6 billion to $36 billion dollars, every year.

While bullying statistics do showcase the extent of bullying, I’ve come to understand that there’s more to the whole bullying epidemic than just numbers and percentages; behind every statistic is a real person, and respect.

Behind every statistic is a story that needs rectifying, and it needs to be rectified now.


That’s why the Upstander Movement matters.

It aims at helping us all grow into the part of ourselves that will call out injustice and abuse, the part of ourselves that rejects passivity and embraces purpose-driven change making.

That’s why the Upstander Movement is the Now.

Who is an Upstander, and Why Should You Be One?
An upstander, as the word suggests, is someone who stands up for something, against something they feel is morally wrong. An upstander is someone whose impact makes a positive difference.

Upstanders are in all of the great heroes we read about and remember. From Nelson Mandela, to Malala Yousafzai, an upstander is someone with the steely determination to always do what they believe is right, regardless of any extraneous factors standing in their way.

In the context of workplace bullying, an upstander is someone who stands up for the target of the bullying. An upstander is someone who notices the situation, speaks up against it, and is gracious in doing so.

The Upstander Effect means everyone comes to work and goes home safe. It leaves everyone feeling like they can do their best work, like they’re supported, seen, heard, and valued in the Workplace. It is a workplace where, ultimately, everyone can thrive.

It is all the more important to be an upstander now– when everyone is still silently battling the after-effects of a pandemic that has caused increased levels of isolation, loneliness, anxiety, suffering, and depression. It is all the more important to be the Upstander who can be the catalyst for collective support in the workplace, to eliminate bullying, discrimination, injustice and racism.


The Bystander Effect
“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

A bystander is essentially the opposite of an Upstander.

A Bystander is someone who will see an injustice happening, and look the other way. The Bystander Effect is when people will content themselves with just standing by and diffuse responsibility, because they “don’t want to get involved”.

As someone who experienced severe workplace bullying, I know the difference it might have made to me and my situation, had the business leaders chosen to be an Upstander and speak up against my perpetrator. Instead, they chose to be bystanders to my situation.

To be a passive bystander to bullying, is to be complicit in the bullying itself. This is why it is important to take action, to take initiative, to speak up.

As long as there is a single upstander, there will be a difference. As long as we have people who are willing to take that one step to make the difference, as long as we have people who are not afraid to “get involved”, workplace bullying can be fought.

Changing the world doesn’t have to be done in leaps and bounds, or from pedestals and podiums; sometimes, all it takes is speaking out against an unkind word to a colleague.

Why now?

As Charles Dickens wrote in the opening lines to what became one of his most celebrated works, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”

Although Mr Dickens was describing the last quarter of the 18th century, this statement holds true still for the times we live now.

We live in times where injustice is widespread. There are a plethora of issues we hear about in the news on the daily, from racism, to discrimination, to murder, to harassment. But as much as we hear about all these unethical and illegal activities, biases, and incidents, we also hear—and experience—revolutions that are organised to counter them. From the Black Lives Matter movement to the MeToo movement, people everywhere are coming together to share their experiences and stories, and to push back against archaic stereotypes and biases.

With all the technology that is available at out fingertips, with all the connections that are only one click away, we are being challenged every day to learn something new in someone else’s perspective; we are in the middle of an ideas revolution.

We are living in a day and age when perpetrators are finding it harder to hide their injustices, when perpetrators are called out and people are willing to rally around the victim to help make a difference. We are living in a day and age when upstanders are more in the making than ever before.   

So, the question is “If not now, then when?”

Because there has never been a better time than right now. 

The upstander leader : how to develop a speak-up culture / Hickman, Jessica
“An inspiring and informative guide for a new generation of leaders who are ready to speak up against toxic behaviour and bullying in the workplace. We’ve all heard of the Bystander Effect, where people see bad behaviour and they walk on by. Bystanders have been called out by the #MeToo Movement, Black Lives Matter and March4Justice, to name just three. It’s not OK to ignore bad behaviour and it never has been. In the workplace (even in the highest levels of Government) bullying and bad behaviour take place, causing toxic cultures and awful places to work. But with 35% of the workforce now from the Millennial generation, it is essential that workplaces change. The Millennials are the Upstander generation – and they are the ones who are driving the future of business – you need them on your team. It’s time to empower our leaders to be Upstander Leaders to attract the best talent and make their working lives safe and enjoyable places where they can thrive. This practical book offers a 5-step model to help them do just that. Award-winning thought leader Jessica Hickman was a victim of workplace bullying over a three-year period when she saw first-hand the Bystander Effect. It motivated her to write The Upstander Leader to encourage leaders to develop a speak-up culture in their organisations. The strategies explained in this book have been road-tested in a number of organisations where bullying is not tolerated, and it’s not just OK to call it out – it is encouraged”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)
 
Worksafe’s Bullying pages offers Tools and resources for businesses and workers to help guide you in preventing bullying in the workplace.

Other material on workplace bullying may be found in the Wellington City Library collection and includes :

Workplace bullying : a costly business phenomenon / Needham, Andrea W
“In this revitalised edition of Workplace Bullying by ground-breaking New Zealand human resource expert Andrea W. Needham, we take a hard look at a very dubious workplace practice. Corporate abuse. Mobbing. Workplace bullying. Call it what you will, the outcome is still the same – staff who become demoralised, and lose trust and confidence in your organisation; staff who leave.” (Catalogue)
 
 

Bullying in the workplace : causes, symptoms, and remedies
“Bullying in the workplace is a phenomenon that has recently intrigued researchers studying management and organizational issues, leading to such questions as why it occurs and what causes such harassment.” (Catalogue)

 
 
 
 

Bully blocking at work : a self-help guide for employees and managers / Field, Evelyn M
“No one goes to work to be humiliated, abused, ostracised, subjected to rumours, or assaulted. Yet this is the reality of a working day for more than one in six workers. Bullying causes billions of dollars in lost productivity, expensive mistakes, employee replacement costs, and health and welfare rehabilitation expenses. Most workplaces currently have few resources and systems to deal with the problem, leaving the victims to sink or swim, and the bullies to remain professionally incompetent. Few understand that bullying is not tough management or an aggressive personality trait to be suffered. Severe and unremitting bullying catapults the victim into such a damaging emotional state that it can lead to the breakdown of their very survival mechanisms. Bully Blocking at Work reveals for the first time the true evil nature of workplace bullying, helping the reader to understand its toxic, destructive impact on all employees – whether they are targets, bullies or onlookers – and provides advice for coping and confronting bullying, from both a personal and organisational perspective. The author has worked as a psychologist for over thirty years and has spent many hours listening to clients, conducting interviews, reading, speaking and writing about workplace bullying. Sprinkled liberally throughout the pages are quotes from the many sufferers of bullying that the author has personally worked with over many years.” (Catalogue)

Workplace bullying and harassment : a toolbox for managers and supervisors / Olsen, Hadyn
“Workplace bullying, harassment and occupational violence are not simple issues to deal with. If ignored or dealt with poorly, they can create a toxic workplace where high staff turnover, complaints and ongoing conflict are the norm. The second edition of this popular book provides information, advice, step-by-step processes and practical tips for managers and supervisors dealing with workplace bullying and harassment problems.” (Catalogue)

The well-spoken woman speaks out : how to use your voice to drive change / Jahnke, Christine K.
“Practical and inspiring, this book is a valuable asset for women seeking to drive change with #MeToo, March for our Lives, Time’s Up, Black Women Lead, Climate Action, She Should Run, Power to the Polls, and women’s marches. In her successful book The Well-Spoken Woman, top speech coach Christine K. Jahnke shared techniques to help women present their ideas effectively in any setting. This new follow-up is for women who are persisting, resisting, advocating, or running for office–and gives them the tools to be effective, persuasive, and powerful communicators. The Well-Spoken Woman Speaks Out will guide any woman who wants to state her case in the most compelling way, ensure that she is truly heard and understood, and seeks to impact and inspire others. It takes Jahnke’s direct experience working with women like Michelle Obama and the presidential campaign of Hillary Clinton and pairs it with the recent surge of women nationwide who are speaking up to drive social and political change. Jahnke, who has spent twenty-five years helping women leaders, provides guidance and best practices so you can: rally support for a cause, make a persuasive pitch, campaign for public office, be a successful advocate, and motivate people to make positive change. She applies her expertise to many facets of communicating publicly, including using your voice in social media; participating in panels, meetings, and discussions; giving presentations; and speaking to the media”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

Permission to speak : how to change what power sounds like, starting with you / Bay, Samara
“Find your voice and use it to lead us to a better future, with this game-changing blueprint for redefining what power and authority sound like–from a Hollywood communication expert. Anyone who has ever been told “You should speak up!” during a meeting at the office, a group project at school, or even a conversation among friends can attest to the misunderstanding at the heart of that demand. For those of us–including women, people of color, immigrants, and queer folks–who find it hard to speak up, the issue is not just about willpower. Many of us have internalized the same messages since birth: that because of the pitch of our voice, the accent we possess, or the slang we use, we will not be taken seriously. Power, we’re told, sounds like the mostly white, straight, wealthy men who wield it. Samara Bay–one of the most in-demand speech and dialect coaches in Hollywood–has made it her mission to change that, and with Permission to Speak she presents a fun and practical road map for making big cultural change while embracing our natural strengths. Drawing on her experience plus the latest research in public speaking, linguistics, and social science, she identifies tools for unlocking the potential in each of our voices–whether you’re an entrepreneur, a new political candidate, a creative type with a bold vision, or a mom going back to work. Giving yourself permission means more than landing your message–it’s about showing up when you show up and finding joy in speaking to your public. With simple tools, big ideas, and a whole lot of heart, Permission to Speak offers a revolutionary take on public speaking and a new definition of what power sounds like. Namely, you”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

Jerks at work : toxic coworkers and what to do about them / West, Tessa V.
Ever watched a coworker charm the pants off management while showing a competitive, Machiavellian side to the lower ranks? West profiles classic workplace archetypes, and gives advice to anyone who has ever cried in a bathroom stall at the office. Digging into the inner workings of each bad apple, she explores their motivations and insecurities, and offers clever strategies for stopping each type of jerk in their tracks. This is the playbook that you wish you didn’t need! — adapted from publisher info” (Adapted from Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.