Tag: Mental health

Dealing with toxic work environments

Linda

A passing conversation with an acquaintance in the days before Christmas made me realise, once again, how pervasive and damaging a toxic work culture can be.

My acquaintance, in recounting her experiences, said sadly “When I set off for work each morning, I feel heavy.”  The pleasure she got from going to work and doing her job well has been sucked out of her life.  She finds this in turn impacts on the enjoyment she gets from interests outside of work.

In this case, the presence of one badly behaved and poorly managed individual has also taken its toll on the team.  People have left and the team is much reduced.  This has increased the workload on those who remain and adds to an already stressful situation.

via GIPHY

This article from Fast Company notes: If you are in a toxic workplace, chances are you will feel drained at the end of the day, so setting aside a little time to reset can help you not carry your toxic workplace into your home life. Then, it’s time to update your résumé and know what red flags to avoid at your next job.

The subjects of toxic work cultures and dealing with difficult people, be they employees, co-workers or customers/clients, have been addressed previously in these blogs. If you find yourself in a position where an individual is making you “feel heavy” – whether it’s a work, home or in a social situation, then we’ve listed some some resources that might help build your resilience.

From LinkedIn Learning
(Access to full courses are available with library registration)

Prevent Toxic Work Cultures as a Manager
The importance of a toxic-free workplace
According to recent studies, a toxic work culture is ten times more likely to cause employee attrition than other factors like compensation, job insecurity, and reorganisation. In this course, Francesca Gino teaches you how to identify and address the factors that contribute to toxic cultures and the specific actions you can take as a manager to build and sustain a healthy workplace. Learn how to tell if your workplace is toxic, the steps you can take to build a healthy work culture, and what you can do to ensure the sustainability of the culture you’ve built.

How to Handle Conflict and Toxicity for Happier Workdays
Respond with compassion, not contempt
In this audio-only course, communication expert Sam Horn explains how to adjust your language to deal with difficult people more effectively. Sam identifies three choices you can always make in a conflict and shows you how quickly agreeing, apologizing, and taking action lets you get straight to what’s important. Sam discusses how finding solutions will get you a lot farther than finding fault and points out the advantages of redirecting accusations. She discusses how being a coach, rather than a critic, and adopting a can-do attitude goes a long way toward making things right. Sam encourages you to remember that no one can make you angry without your consent, to focus on what you want to do to keep a level head, and to find strength in numbers and documented evidence. She also highlights the importance of standing up to bullies and knowing when to leave a toxic situation.

From the book collection

Wait, I’m working with who?!? : the essential guide to dealing with difficult coworkers, annoying managers, and other toxic personalities / Economy, Peter
“Who hasn’t had to deal with a jerk at work? Whether it’s a toxic team member who loves nothing better than to suck the life and excitement out of her colleagues or a bad boss who causes his employees to constantly dream of telling him to “Take this job and shove it!” or the difficult co-worker who isn’t happy unless the office is filled with mayhem and drama, we’ve all had to deal with people on the job we would rather not. Based on proven approaches and the latest research and advice of workplace experts, this book will provide readers with detailed and unambiguous advice on how to deal with and neutralize the negative people in their work lives”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

Jerks at work : toxic coworkers and what to do about them / West, Tessa V.
“For anyone pulling their hair out over an irritating colleague who’s not technically breaking any rules, a hilarious guide to getting difficult people off your back from NYU psychology professor Tessa West. Ever watched a coworker charm the pants off management while showing a competitive, Machiavellian side to the lower ranks? The Kiss-Up/Kick-Down coworker doesn’t hesitate to throw peers under the bus, but their boss is oblivious to their bad behavior. What to do? In Jerks at Work, West draws on a decade of original research to profile classic workplace archetypes, including the Gaslighter, the Bulldozer, the Credit-Stealer, the Neglector, and the Micromanager, and gives advice to anyone who’s ever cried in a bathroom stall at the office. West digs deep into the inner workings of each bad apple, exploring their motivations and insecurities … and offers clever strategies for stopping each type of jerk in their tracks …Jerks at Work is the playbook that you wish you didn’t need but you’ll always turn to–and the answer to your endless “how to deal with a terrible boss” Google searches”– Provided by publisher.(Adapted from Catalogue)

Toxic : a guide to rebuilding respect and tolerance in a hostile workplace / Lewis, Clive
“An incisive insight into the prominence of ‘toxic’ workplaces, detailing the dramatic effect they have upon the workforce and productivity, before exploring applicable and adaptable solutions to this widespread crisis” (Catalogue)

 

 

You can’t talk to me that way! : stopping toxic language in the workplace / Bell, Arthur H.
“For anyone who is discouraged, withdrawn and isolated at work due to verbal attacks–or, just as often, has been provoked into shouting matches and verbal confrontations with his or her attacker–this book shows exactly what to say and do to end the humiliation and torment.” (Catalogue)

 

How to deal with toxic people : clever ways to handle manipulative, difficult, & sensitive people using emotional intelligence / Scott, Bob
“Toxic people are common in the workplace and even within family members. You might be in love with this person or be absolutely attached their personal deeds, but still be suffering from the infliction caused by their toxicity. These people are like virus and may destroy your sense of inspiration, leaving you feeling empty and powerless. It is unfortunate that we have to work with this people, and sometimes the only choice we have is to find subtle ways to deal with their toxicity.  This book has brought to light several ways of dealing with difficult, immature and toxic people. Social intelligence strategies revealed in this book will help you to deal with several traits accompanied with social toxicity. You will begin to manage your emotions and responses around toxic behaviors. You will thrive in your workspace and home without the need to be constantly on guard.” (Catalogue) (Ebook Libby format)

Toxic emotions at work : how compassionate managers handle pain and conflict / Frost, Peter J
“No matter where we work or volunteer our time, emotional pain is an unavoidable consequence of doing business. While the sources vary – abusive bosses, combative customers, heavy workloads, impossible deadlines, unexpected tragedies – the result is often the same: We disconnect from work, morale sinks, and performance drops.” “Peter Frost argues that what causes this potentially crippling scenario is not pain itself, but the ways in which organizations respond to pain. When pain is acknowledged and effectively managed, he says, it can be a constructive force for organizational change. But when ignored, pain can poison the workplace – resulting in everything from missed deadlines to an exodus of key staff to a battered bottom line.” “Based on an in-depth study of this pervasive phenomenon, Toxic Emotions at Work explores how organizations and their leaders cause emotional pain, how it affects performance, and what can be done to alleviate pain before it becomes toxic. Frost reveals the “behind-the-scenes” work performed by “toxin handlers” – self-appointed pain managers who help assuage the suffering of colleagues and enable them to refocus on their work. He illuminates the toll this work is taking on toxin handlers’ emotional and physical health, and argues that leaders must recognize and share this critical role if their organizations are to remain productive and vital.”–BOOK JACKET.” (Catalogue)

Toxic people : dealing with dysfunctional relationships / Cantopher, Tim
“Some people are so stressful, they can actually make us ill. Gameplayers, bullies, users and abusers – all pose a risk to our health and welfare if we don’t take action. This book presents the tools we need to deal with the toxic people in our lives who drain our energy. It explains how to make healthy relationship choices, set proper boundaries and recognize the red flags that should alert us to avoid certain people. Whether you are struggling with a narcissistic partner, or dealing with a bullying boss or a sociopathic colleague, there is practical advice that will help you not only to protect your mental wellbeing but also to thrive. You will understand the nature of the toxic workplace – how to avoid it and if necessary survive within it. If you’re surrounded by the takers of this world, read this book and gain the freedom to make your own choices and live your own life.” (Catalogue)

Toxic people : 10 ways of dealing with people who make your life miserable / Glass, Lillian
“”In Toxic People, Dr. Lillian Glass, a nationally known communications skills and self-image expert, explains how these toxic people operate in your life to harm your self-esteem. Using examples from her own practice, she illustrates the problems toxic people cause – physical, emotional, and mental. And she includes informative quizzes to help you identify the toxic people in your own life and the causes of this toxicity. The “Thirty Toxic Types” are included with their characteristics. And because not everyone finds the same people toxic to his or her well-being, Dr. Glass includes a quiz to determine what is toxic to you so you can avoid those types.”–BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved” (Catalogue)

Rising above a toxic workplace : taking care of yourself in an unhealthy environment / Chapman, Gary D.
“Offers accounts of workers in emotionally unhealthy work environments and how they coped with the situation or left it behind, with practical advice for readers who find themselves in toxic workplaces.” (Catalogue)

 

 

Difficult people made easy : your guide to solving people problems at work / Shakiba, Eleanor
“You’re a competent professional. You excel at the technical side of your work. But so far no-one has taught you how to handle difficult people or toxic team dynamics. That’s where this book comes in. Difficult People Made Easy explains how you need to think and speak when faced with a difficult colleague. Then it reveals specific words and actions you can use.” (Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.

 

Happiness at work

Linda

The General Assembly of the United Nations in its resolution 66/281 of 12 July 2012 proclaimed 20 March the International Day of Happiness recognizing the relevance of happiness and well-being as universal goals and aspirations in the lives of human beings around the world and the importance of their recognition in public policy objectives.

The annual World Happiness Report released this week shows that New Zealand rates 10th in the world for national happiness.

The measuring, and celebration, of happiness might sound a little Pollyanna-ish to a business minded person.  However there is plenty being written about the importance of happiness to our mental health and general wellbeing, including in the workplace.

Think about it – whether we are an employee or an employer – we spend a lot of time at work in the course of our lives.  It helps to be happy at work because the alternative of being miserable for eight hours a day doesn’t have a lot to recommend it.

Studies have shown that a happy worker is engaged, productive, and very importantly in this time of labour shortages, more likely to be retained. 

Let’s look at some of the research to support making being at work one of your happy places.

Robert Waldinger is an American psychiatrist and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.  He also oversees the one of the world’s longest running studies of adult development and therefore has had the opportunity to study what provides individuals with a sense of wellbeing, fulfillment and  ultimately, happiness.

In this TED talk Waldinger  shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

Another psychologist, Shawn Achor, has also written a lot on happiness and a couple of his books are listed below.  In this fast-moving and very funny TED talk, psychologist Achor argues that, actually, happiness inspires us to be more productive.

Database: Business Source Elite – available with library registration and login

Golnaz Sadri, in Happiness and its impact on workplace behavior (Industrial Management) 
discusses how : Happier workplaces report less turnover, lower healthcare costs, fewer mistakes and accidents, more efficiency, greater shareholder value and quicker rebounds in the wake of failures. This article describes a number of strategies that individuals can adopt to create happier lives for themselves as well as strategies that organizations can adopt to create happier, healthier, more productive workplaces.
Database: MasterFILE Complete – available with library registration and login
 

In recent years some businesses have begun to take employee happiness seriously and role titles such as  chief happiness officer or happiness commander have begun appearing.  It would seem that the concept of “happy employees make happy workplaces” is starting to cotton on. But why?

An article in The Guardian describes this trend as a ‘Commercial no-brainer’: why the role of happiness officer is taking off’  

So what have we learned from all that?

In the last couple of years New Zealand has dropped two points in the World Happiness ratings.  

As an employer is it in your interest to ensure staff happiness?  Yes, the indications are it makes for a more stable and productive workplace. 

Does your business need a Happiness Officer?  Probably not.  

If you are an employee and unhappy with your work situation there are strategies you can put in place to ensure you have a more resilient mindset.  

Let some of the resources Wellington City Libraries has help guide you to a better state of mind, improving your wellbeing, longevity and productivity.

Unlocking happiness at work : how a data-driven happiness strategy fuels purpose, passion and performance / Moss, Jennifer
“Unlocking Happiness at Work takes you on a journey into why and how leaders should become compassionate capitalists and ensure that their teams thrive. This book debunks the myth that happiness at work is a waste of time and demonstrates how it can deliver a more productive and engaged workforce, which can have real impact on the bottom line. Based on two decades of scientific research, real-time data, interviews and case studies, this book proves that happiness fuels higher performance, provides a greater sense of purpose and spreads passion throughout organizations. With insightful practical guidance throughout, Unlocking Happiness at Work is a lively and persuasive exploration of how to be more happy and make others more happy through the power of habits, emotional intelligence and an innovative approach to work/life flow. This is an essential resource for leaders who want to increase sustainability, attract new talent, improve their brand and boost profitability – in a way that is life-enhancing for them and their people.” ( Adapted from Catalogue)

Designing your work life : how to thrive and change and find happiness at work / Burnett, William
“A book that shows how to find meaning and satisfaction in your work life”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue) Also available as Ebook Overdrive

 

 

Make the most of your workday : be more productive, engaged, and satisfied as you conquer the chaos at work / Camuto, Mary A.
“Even if you don’t have your dream job, every day is precious and filled with opportunities. Make the Most of Your Workday challenges you to actively manage and make the most of workday possibilities and problems. With drive, determination, and optimism, it offers solutions to workday predicaments. You can take control; you don’t have to wait for leaders, people, or circumstances to change. No matter your level, situation, or dilemma, Mary shows you how to regroup, reframe, and bounce back.” (Catalogue) 
                                         Also available as E-Audiobook 

Whatever works : the small cues that make a surprising difference in our success at work–and how to create a happier office / Lobel, Thalma
“Thalma Lobel, one of the world’s leading experts on human behavior, explores ground-breaking psychological research on job performance, satisfaction, and creativity, revealing the hidden factors-often unrecognized, counterintuitive, or invisible-that have profound effects on how well we can do our jobs and how happy we are at work”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

Beyond happiness : how authentic leaders prioritize purpose and people for growth and impact / Lim, Jenn
“Jenn Lim has dedicated her career to helping organizations from name-brand industry leaders to innovative governments build workplace cultures that benefit both their employees and their bottom line, with less employee turnover, greater engagement, and higher profits. Her culture consultancy, Delivering Happiness, demonstrates the profound impact happiness can have on businesses’ ability to thrive in our ever-changing times. In this book, she clearly and concretely shows the way the model works in a hyper-connected fast-paced world, beginning with each individual defining their sense of values and purpose (the ME), and rippling through the organization ecosystem (the WE and the COMMUNITY) in waves of impact.” (Catalogue)

Connect first : 52 simple ways to ignite success, meaning, and joy at work / Katzman, Melanie
“A renowned business psychologist, advisor, and consultant to the world’s leading companies reveals the key to greater success, meaning, and joy at work,”–Amazon.com.” (Catalogue)

 

 

The happiness advantage : the seven principles of positive psychology that fuel success and performance at work / Achor, Shawn
“‘… Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work. This isn’t just an empty mantra. This discovery has been repeatedly borne out by rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor, who spent over a decade living, researching, and lecturing at Harvard University, draws on his own research including one of the largest studies of happiness and potential at Harvard and others at companies like UBS and KPMG to fix this broken formula. Using stories and case studies from his work with thousands of Fortune 500 executives in 42 countries, Achor explains how we can reprogram our brains to become more positive in order to gain a competitive edge at work. Isolating seven practical, actionable principles that have been tried and tested everywhere from classrooms to boardrooms … he shows us how we can capitalize on the Happiness Advantage to improve our performance and maximize our potential.”–Publisher description.” (Adapted from Catalogue)
Available in EAudiobook Borrowbox

 

Before happiness : 5 actionable strategies to create a positive path to success / Achor, Shawn
“Shawn Achor introduces a groundbreaking new theory about success and human potential. He shows how a positive mindset is the best predictor of motivation, engagement and performance in the workplace and in your personal life and offers five practical, actionable strategies for creating this mindset that will make us more successful at work and at home.” (Catalogue)
Also available in EAudiobook Borrowbox

 

A great place to work for all : better for business, better for people, better for the world / Bush, Michael C.
“From Great Place to Work, … comes a new definition of what it takes to make an organization great FOR ALL–for the business, for people and for the world. For 20 years Great Place to Work has published their gold-standard list of the 100 Best Companies to Work For. But their latest research shows that what was good enough to be a “great” workplace 10 or 20 years ago is not good enough now. Even at the best workplaces, leaders can–and must–do better. CEO Michael C. Bush and his team connect the dots to show how the emerging economy is about developing every ounce of human potential. Today’s business climate is defined by speed, social technologies and people expecting “values” besides value. As a result, leaders have to create an outstanding culture for everyone, no matter who they are or what they do for the organization. They have to build a Great Place to Work For All. The authors share new research on how Great Places to Work For All outperform in the stock market and grow revenue 3x faster than less-inclusive rivals. Bush and his team tell surprising, inspiring stories about how closing gaps in the work experience between groups of employees pays off for everyone. They document the ways Great Places to Work For All benefit the individuals working there and contribute to a better global society. And they introduce a new leadership framework, showing the advantages of what the authors define as Level 5 “For All” leaders. In effect, the times demand executives who not only are business-savvy but also are devoted to fairness, have deep faith in people, and empower all individuals to reach their full human potential. This is a call to lead so that organizations bring out the best in everyone”– Provided by publisher.” (Adapted from Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.

Burnout

Linda

It’s getting to the time of year when, on top of an already stressful few years, demands and pressures increase.  A continued level of stress can lead to burnout.  Burnout, if not addressed, can lead to reduced workplace and personal productivity and long term health issues.

Back in July we featured a guest author post on the Stages of Burnout by Jess Stuart
In this post we build on Jess’s article and look at some of the other resources the Wellington City Libraries collections offer on recognising, addressing and recovering from burnout.  Different aspects can contribute to burnout – work stresses, lifestyle, individual personality traits or a combination of any of these.

In her recent article How to come back from burnout: 7 offbeat ways to recharge your life, clinical psychologist Karen Nimmo, lists burnout’s symptom’s as “… similar to mild to moderate depression. There’ll be sleep problems, low motivation/energy, persistent low mood, lethargy, irritability, exaggerated emotional responses, disinterest in favourite activities and people, a general heaviness”.  She then lists some small tweaks you can make to your life if you feel you are approaching or have reached burnout.  (Note the recommendation that you “Read a whole book“). 

The Mayo Clinic also provides a checklist of symptoms if you feel you may be suffering job related burnout and suggests some actions you can take to improve the situation.

Other websites with more information include The HelpGuide’s Burnout Prevention and Treatment, while Health Navigator NZ offers Tips to Avoid Work Stress and Burnout.
The Harvard Business review offers a more indepth article with Beating Burnout (available via Business Source Premier database on the library website).

As an employer however, is investing in resources for employee mental health the right answer to the question?  In a recent article McKinsey asked if you are solving the right problem?  Their research found that many employers focus on individual-level interventions that remediate symptoms, rather than resolve the causes of employee burnout.

 If you want to understand more about burnout, the causes, process and ways to deal with it, try these recent publications, all held in our collection.

Burnout to brilliance : redefining peak performance / Stuart, Jess
“Learn how to achieve peak performance without burning out in the process. We live in a constant state of overwhelm and exhaustion whilst simultaneously striving for high performance. It’s not sustainable and it’s why burnout has become so prevalent. That was before the global pandemic which exacerbates the level of change and uncertainty leaving peak performance even harder to achieve. Busyness is fashionable, we wear it like a badge of honour but it doesn’t lead to high performance. Quantity does not always mean quality and being busy does not mean we’re productive, in fact the opposite is often true. Understand the difference between busy and productive. Work smarter not harder and master the habits of high performance. Understand the neuroscience behind thinking patterns and how to access a flow state. Learn strategies to cultivate a more focused, clear mind. Be your best without burning out in the process. Overcome overwhelm, reenergise and build resilience. Improve productivity and effectiveness”–Back cover.” (Catalogue)

Beyond burnout : how to spot it, stop it and stamp it out : a New Zealand guide / McAlpine, Suzi
“Following her own first-hand experience, as well as the countless similar scenarios she’s seen in her role as an executive coach, Suzi McAlpine has created a book about burnout to help create environments and organisational cultures that reduce its occurrence…As well as actionable tools and key takeouts, each chapter/section will include information about how to recognise the signs of burnout, and practical how-tos for leaders to reduce its presence in organisations. She also explains how to treat and address burnout when it is present”–Publisher information.” (Catalogue)  Also available in ebook format

The burnout epidemic : the rise of chronic stress and how we can fix it / Moss, Jennifer
“Workplace well-being expert Jennifer Moss helps leaders and individuals prevent burnout and create healthier, happier, and more productive workplaces. We tend to think that burnout is a problem we can solve with more yoga, better breathing techniques, and more resilience. Moss lays bare the real causes of burnout, and shows that self-care is not a cure-all for burnout. She offers actionable advice that will empower readers to feel healthier and happier at work. — adapted from jacket” (Catalogue)

Burnout : a guide to identifying burnout and pathways to recovery / Parker, Gordon
“Are you always exhausted? Unable to feel for others or for life’s pleasures? Find it hard to concentrate and take in what you read? You may have burnout. Burnout is widespread among high achievers in the workplace, in business and in caring professions like health and teaching. Parents with new babies and those caring for the elderly and people with disabilities are also at risk. Although burnout is so common, it’s often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed – most commonly as depression. Drawing on groundbreaking new research, this book hands you the tools to work out whether you have burnout – or not. The good news? It is possible to recover from even severe burnout. The authors show you how to recognise your own burnout pattern, how far you have travelled into burnout territory, and provide a broad-based management approach to help you regain your spark and build your resilience. With fascinating new insights into the biology of burnout, and stories from people who have brought themselves back from the brink, Burnout is a complete guide for anyone who suspects they may have burnout, for their families, for health professionals and employers.” (Catalogue) (Ebook format)

The burnout challenge : managing people’s relationships with their jobs / Maslach, Christina
“Solutions to workplace burnout often involve victim-blaming: Stressed? Try therapy-or a new job. But burnout is a sign of defective workplaces, not workers. Drawing on decades of research, Christina Maslach and Michael Leiter show managers how to recognize burnout and fix problems cost-effectively, improving employees’ productivity and health”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

 

Change makers : a woman’s guide to stepping up without burning out at work / Murray, Katy
“We’ve come some way in the fight to get women into the workplace and delivering impactful valued work. But as the COVID-19 pandemic has disproportionally affected women’s progression, many of us are close to burnout and considering scaling back our work faced with other responsibilities. We cannot let that happen. Your work matters. It’s ok to want an impactful career and to demand it do more than bring home a pay check every month. But can you re-awaken your change making power with the spectre of burnout looming? In ‘Change Makers,‘ expert women’s leadership coach Katy Murray devises an actionable plan for you to create the space to grow as a change maker and change the world for the better. This book shares the powerful habits, that allow you to step into a more expansive version of yourself at work. These habits are small but mighty. They reshape your brain, shift your behaviors, and create ease-filled change in your leadership, activism, work, and life. As you integrate these strategies into your every-day, you will eliminate burnout. You will find clarity in your purpose again. You will feel more joy, more energy, more momentum. You will expand your relationships eco-system, and see fresh ways to navigate and even disrupt the systems you find yourself in. You will have a bigger impact in your work and you will co-create a more equitable world. ‘Change Makers‘ leads you through a personalized journey of self-discovery, with practical templates, inspirational real-life examples of change-making women, exercises, and coaching prompts that make a difference. Join the collective of women finding a powerful new way to lead. It’s time to step up”– Provided by publisher.” (Catalogue)

The end of burnout : why work drains us and how to build better lives / Malesic, Jonathan
“Burnout has become our go-to term for talking about the pressure and dissatisfaction we experience at work. But because we don’t really understand what burnout means, the discourse does little to help workers who are suffering from exhaustion and despair. Jonathan Malesic was one of those workers, and to escape he quit his job as a tenured professor. In The End of Burnout, he dives into the history and psychology of burnout, traces the origin of the high ideals we bring to our dismal jobs, and profiles the individuals and communities who are already resisting our cultural commitment to constant work. In The End of Burnout, Malesic traces his own history as someone who burned out of a tenured job to frame this rigorous investigation of how and why so many of us feel worn out, alienated, and useless in our work. Through research on the science, culture, and philosophy of burnout, Malesic explores the gap between our vocation and our jobs, between the ideals we have for work and the reality of what we have to do. He eschews the usual prevailing wisdom in confronting burnout (“Learn to say no!” “Practice mindfulness!”) to examine how our jobs have been constructed as a symbol of our value and our total identity. And beyond looking at what drives burnout–unfairness, a lack of autonomy, a breakdown of community, mismatches of values–this book highlights groups that are addressing these failures of ethics. We can look to communities of monks, employees of a Dallas nonprofit, intense hobbyists, and artists with disabilities to see the possibilities for resisting a “total work” environment and the paths to recognizing the dignity of workers and nonworkers alike. In this critical yet deeply humane book, Malesic offers the vocabulary we need to recognize burnout, overcome burnout culture, and find moral significance in our lives beyond work”– Provided by publisher” (Catalogue) Also available in e-book format

The Book of Boundaries : End Resentment, Burnout, and Anxiety– and Reclaim Your Time, Energy, Health, and Relationships / Urban, Melissa
“…Do your relationships often feel one-sided or unbalanced? Are you always giving in just so things will go smoothly? Do you wish you could learn to say no–but, like, nicely? Are you depleted, overwhelmed, and tired of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to establish some boundaries… Melissa Urban has taught millions of people how to establish healthy habits and successfully navigate pushback and peer pressure… in The Book of Boundaries, she shows you how boundaries are the key to better mental health, increased energy, improved productivity, and more fulfilling relationships. In her famously direct and compassionate style, Urban offers:
* 130+ scripts with language you can use to instantly establish boundaries with bosses and co-workers, romantic partners, parents and in-laws, co-parents, friends, family, neighbors, strangers–and yourself
* actionable advice to help you communicate your needs with clarity and compassion
* tips for successfully navigating boundary guilt, pushback, pressure, and oversteps
* techniques to create healthy habits around food, drink, technology, and more User-friendly and approachable, The Book of Boundaries will give you the tools you need to stop justifying, minimizing, and apologizing, leading you to more rewarding relationships and a life that feels bigger, healthier, and freer.” (Adapted from Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.

Stop telling me to calm down : a guest blog by Dr Sarb Johal

Linda

“Stop telling me to be calm!”

And anyway, why’s it so important? You’ve had the experience of people – me included – telling you that being calm is important, right? Often, telling us to be calm produces the exact opposite effect.

For example, remember being told, ‘don’t jump on the bed’? What did you do? We jump on the bed and then we may lie about it so not to get into trouble. And for adults, just like kids,the same can also be true. It provokes the opposite reaction to what we intended. One of the most common phrases that seems to evoke the complete opposite reaction is when someone tells us to “Calm down” or “Relax!” We may become flooded with more arousal or even anger than before they said these words.

So, we know that just saying ‘calm down, doesn’t work

If we think about why, then we might be able to figure out what we can do to help instead. ‘Calm down’ might be a red flag because it fails to recognise our feelings, and invalidates the emotions we may be experiencing, like fear, anxiety, or anger. Hearing ‘Calm down’ may actually be received as a message that we are not being taken seriously. And the problem is that once this reaction of feeling dismissed is triggered, we have a window in which we can soothe ourselves, or risk an escalation of the situation, making it even more difficult to find calm. We know that the neurochemical that triggers the initial bout of stress hormone is used up in about 90 secs. So, yes, the situation may cause your flare up for those 90 secs. After that, continuing to think angry thoughts like, ‘how dare they!’ only triggers more stress hormone.

So how do you step away from the thought that your experience is being dismissed, or that you are being belittled?

First, you can try distraction. This is where your phone can be handy – not to rant about it on social media, but to access your photo library to look at pictures of things that make you happy. Venting your rage won’t make you feel better – it only escalates your rage. Second, use belly-breathing techniques: When you feel your anger or anxiety revving up, simply hit the brakes with some focused belly-breathing. Set a timer for 60 seconds and breathe in and out through your nose, counting each breath. Take good full breaths — not too fast and not too slow. Just breathe at a normal pace, whatever that is for you, inflating and deflating your belly in each breath. Close your eyes or look down at the floor while breathing.

Now try it

How many breaths did you manage in 60 seconds?

There is no right answer, but once you know how many breaths you take in 60 seconds, you won’t even need a timer. You can use this technique any time you feel you need to slow down a bit or when you want to feel less shaky and anxious. The beauty of this is that it only takes 60 seconds to change what is happening in your body and shift from revving up to slowing down.

This is why my new book is called ‘Finding Calm‘. Calm is something you learn to do, you choose to do, rather than an instruction or invalidation.

This blog was republished from the author’s website with permission.  

Dr Sarb Johal is a clinical psychologist, consultant and commentator who brings a psychological lens to the light, the dark and the intriguing aspects of the human experience. His videos, blogs and podcasts turn complex psychological theory into simple tools for solving everyday problems, helping people and organisations navigate tough times with greater wellbeing and equilibrium.  He lives in Wellington.

You can find copies of Sarb’s books in the Wellington City Libraries collection.

Finding calm : managing fear and anxiety in an uncertain world : advice that works from a leading New Zealand psychologist / Johal, S. S.
“We live in a troubled world – so many changes, so many uncertainties. This book gives a range of practical skills to help anyone come to terms with feelings of anxiety and learn to thrive.”–Publisher information.” (Catalogue)
Available also as an e-book

 

Steady : a guide to better mental health through and beyond the coronavirus pandemic / Johal, S. S.
“How do you deal with uncertainty and anxiety when your world is upended by the coronavirus pandemic? Dr Sarb Johal, an expert in emergency management and disaster psychology, had to answer that question for an entire country as he helped develop the world-leading response that saw Covid-19 stamped out by the ‘team of five million’ in his home country of New Zealand … Steady is for anyone wanting to strengthen their capacity to ride the possible coming waves of Covid-19 – as well as life’s general ups and downs – with more calm, ease and a sense of groundedness”–Publisher information.” (Catalogue)
Available in both e-book and audiobook format

 

Supporting staff during difficult times

Linda

Business.govt.nz has produced a series of worksheets to assist employers and employees to support each other through times of personal difficulty.

They include:

  • A worksheet to help workers decide if they want (or need) to let you know what’s going on for them.
  • How much to share with you or their manager.
  • How to prepare what they would like to say.
  • A resource you and your worker can use together to help identify what support might help them.

Worksafe New Zealand also has a section on mental health and wellbeing in the workplace and provides guidance for employers and employees.

If you would like to read more, the item below is presently on order for the Library collection and can be reserved at no charge.

Managing workplace health and wellbeing during a crisis : how to support your staff in difficult times / Cooper, Cary/ Hesketh, Ian
“Use the expert advice and global case studies in this book to support employee health and wellbeing both during and after a health, economic or social crisis.” (Catalogue)

If you need more information please contact the Prosearch team at the library.  We can help you find information across a range of perspectives and resources.  All enquiries are treated in confidence.