Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I have been on tour with my lounge band, Mister Ree and the Unqualified Statements. To some success, too!

Tintin (who hardly requires an introduction) celebrated his 75th birthday this year. His adventures began with Tintin in the Land of the Soviets and continued in 23 further books. There are three other books that weren't by Tintin's creator, Hergé, and are film tie-ins. One of Tintin's earliest episodes takes place in the Congo, or Zaire; this book features a Tintin far removed from the moral and likeable character we now know, and is best viewed within its historical context. Unsurprisingly, Tintin in the Congo is very hard to find. There's no need to depair! Tintin has since been consistently a force for good - upright, honest, with great skin and a mischievous lap dog. Happily the library has almost all the Tintin books. More often than not they're kept in their own area with the Asterix books. We even have them in their original language, French. (See the Tintin French-English dictionary, also.) If you're keen we have several books about Tintin: Tintin and the World of Hergé, and Tintinologue, which is a collection of Tintin-based trivia questions and answers.

Palindromes are words or phrases that read the same when reversed. The name 'Anna' is a palindrome, as is 'Desserts, I stressed!' The Palindrome Connection has them all. Oxymorons, on the other hands, are statements or words that contradict one another. 'Sweet sorrow' is one. Thrill to others at Oxymoron.info! If you think they're exciting, you will love neoplasms (these are the opposite of oxymorons*). Have you ever wondered what your headstone might have written on it? Wonder no more! The Tombstone Generator allows you to try any number of entertaining appropriately maudlin epitaphs. Have you ever wondered what your name might look like painted on a bridge? Wonder no more! This site is in German, but it's fairly easy to navigate - just enter your text on the right and click on Weiter and away you go. *The word should be oxymora, really. Use this knowledge to impress!

This month's horoscopes have proven a challenge. The stars and the planets are all over the place, and I have spent hours plotting their orbits and their fields of influence. From the comfort of my chaise longue I finally pinned down the heavens for the benefit of my two readers. Aries - A new moon appears around Uranus and, obviously, this marks a transition in your style. Goth? Punk? Whatever is cheapest, since you will spend most of the month flat broke. Leo - As Saturn passes through the heavens, so will you pass through a wilderness. A jungle, perhaps, or a kind of forest. The stars are unclear; but be wary of pitfalls and a short people wielding umbrellas. Sagittarius - Venus probably exerts an extraordinary power this month, Sagittarians, and romance may or may not be in the air. If you are lucky you will meet your soul-mate, who will be someone you have known for some time or someone you have just met. Failing that, nothing interesting will happen. Gemini - Of all the things that could happen this month, not being a Libra will strike you as being the most regrettable. Libra - Don't forget; it's hard to say sorry. Your lucky mammal is the Irish stoat. Aquarius - If you've ever wondered why bad things happen to good people, wonder no more; this month will provide you with an explicit - and rather sudden - answer. Your lucky numbers are 5, 8, and 412. Taurus - All kinds of stuff will happen this month. The stars have told me, so it must be true. Thursdays will be especially fortunate. Your lucky colour is beige. Virgo - You will make a lot of people happy this month. Who knew comedy was one of your strengths? Just keep telling yourself that they're laughing with you. Capricorn - Mars is up to its usual tricks. The 15th of the month will be an important day for golfers and asthmatics. Purchasing a lottery ticket will result in an instant transaction of money. Cancer - What were you thinking? You won't get your money back, and one of your friends will rather unkindly lend you What Not to Wear. Scorpio - You will delight in talking in 1920s slang. Splendid! I say, so much so, in fact, that you really will be terribly irritating to those close to you. Isn't it too divine?! Now see here - that's just too dull of them, darling. Simply a bogus shame! Pisces - Familiarity breeds contempt, and your month will be cliché-ridden. It's a rough ride but just hang on in there and you will pull through; remember,worse things happen at sea. Knock on wood and you'll be sweet.

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