News Blog > relationships

From being empowered to being empowering

Empower yourself and those around you – whether it’s being decisive in your decisions and making a difference with your power to influence, or just learning how not to slap or be slapped in the face!

Syndetics book coverThe curse of lovely : how to break free from the demands of others and learn to say no / Jacqui Marson.
“Many people’s lives, relationships, careers and wellbeing are blighted by the belief that to be liked, loved and accepted they have to limit themselves to the behaviours they believe are approved of by others. This might mean some or all of the following: always being polite, nice, helpful, charming, fun, making people feel good about themselves, not letting people down, never saying ‘no’, avoiding conflict and putting others’ needs before their own. In her 15 years of clinical experience as a psychologist Jacqui Marson has coined the phrase ‘the curse of lovely’ to describe this growing trend. Many people would like to be known as lovely, but for a growing number of people it can feel like a curse. They feel unable to put their own needs before those of everyone else, and feel that changing this is not an option. This book shows readers how to break the curse of lovely to live a more complete, fulfilling life.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverThe difference you make : changing your world through the impact of your influence / Pat Williams with Jim Denney.
“Every one of us has influence, whether we realize it or not. In everything we say and do, we are influencing those around us. What if we became more aware, more intentional, and more strategic about our own influence? Well, we might just change the world. True influence, says Pat Williams, isn’t about getting what you want–it’s about serving others. Using personal stories from his own life and the lives of others, Williams shows readers the difference between influence and manipulation, how to influence others through both words and deeds, and ultimately how to change the world for the better, one relationship at a time. This book will inspire readers to build a positive legacy in the lives of others and take the role of influencer to heart. Each chapter includes questions and ideas for personal reflection and practical application, and can be used to guide group discussions as well.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverDecisive : how to make better choices in life and work / Chip Heath and Dan Heath.
“Just making a decision can be hard enough, but how do you begin to judge whether it’s the right one? In Decisive, best-selling authors Chip and Dan Heath draw on decades of psychological research to explain why we so often get it very badly wrong – why our supposedly rational brains are frequently tripped up by powerful biases and wishful thinking. At the same time they demonstrate how relatively easy it is to avoid the pitfalls and find the best answers, offering four simple principles that we can all learn and follow. In the process, they show why it is that experts frequently make mistakes. They demonstrate the perils of getting trapped in a narrow decision frame. And they explore people’s tendency to be over-confident about how their choices will unfold. Drawing on case histories as diverse as the downfall of Kodak and the inspiring account of a cancer survivor, they offer both a fascinating tour through the workings of our minds and an invaluable guide to making smarter decisions.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverA slap in the face : why insults hurt – and why they shouldn’t / William B. Irvine.
“Insults are part of the fabric of daily life. Other people inflict them on us, sometimes blatantly but more often subtly. On some occasions, we are delighted to be on the receiving end of these insults: when the members of a group we have joined start playfully teasing us, for example, it can be a sign of acceptance into the group. On other occasions, though, an insult can cause us pain so intense that even years later, we will find ourselves experiencing insult flashbacks. We are also the source of insults. Some of them are consciously inflicted, but many more are sufficiently subtle that we will not recognize them for what they are unless we replay conversations in our head and try to fathom our motives for having said the things we said. Do this, and we might be astonished by our tendency, in casual conversation, to put people into what we regard as their proper place — namely, somewhere below us on the social hierarchy. In A Slap in the Face, William B. Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them. He offers advice, based primarily on the writings of the Stoic philosophers, on how best to curb our own insulting tendencies and how best to respond to the insults that are directed our way.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverBirth order : what your position in the family really tells you about your character / [Linda Blair].
“We’ve all heard the stereotypes – first borns are natural leaders, middle borns are difficult, last borns are spoiled and single children are loners. But how accurate are these snapshots? In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Linda Blair examines what your birth order really tells you about your character, your relationships – even your choice of career. She also considers the factors that skew ‘typical’ birth-order characteristics, such as how you were parented and the sex and spacing of your siblings. Written in a lively, personal style, Birth Order will unlock keys to why you think, feel and behave in the ways that you do.” (Book cover)

New ways to help yourself in November

Whether it’s what makes us tick or what makes love last, take a look at some of some of the things driving us in our lives and how you can gain more control to be in the driver’s seat in yours.

Syndetics book coverTake the lead : motivate, inspire, and bring out the best in yourself and everyone around you / Betsy Myers with John David Mann.
“From the Oval Office to the playground, cabinet meetings to kitchen tables, in public life and private, Betsy Myers has seen firsthand the emergence of a new leadership model where having all the answers up front is less important than asking the right questions, where strength is derived less from the power you wield than from how you make the people around you feel. With personal stories from her time in government, in academia, and on the campaign trail, as well as her experiences as a wife, daughter, and mother, Myers helps all of us learn to set the right priorities for ourselves; to connect on a deeper level with the people around us; to uncover problems early when they are still easy to fix; to collaborate with those whose points of view are different from our own; and to push through our fears and live our most authentic lives. Myers demonstrates that more than simply making people feel good, this kind of leadership can have a profound effect on the results achieved: it is how initiatives are launched, profits are made, and work gets done. Provocative, practical, and profoundly inspiring, ‘Take the Lead’ is a book for anyone who wonders where all the great leaders have gone. Betsy Myers helps us see that true leadership is all around us and within us.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverWhat makes love last? : how to build trust and avoid betrayal / John Gottman and Nan Silver.
“Doubts are common in relationships. Partners often worry. Can I trust my partner? Am I being betrayed? How do I know for sure? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviours, and attitudes that indicate betrayal – whether sexual or not – and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken. With a gift for translating complex scientific ideas into insightful and practical advice, Gottman explains how a couple can protect or recover their greatest gift – their love for one another.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverAdd more ~ing to your life : a hip guide to happiness / Gabrielle Bernstein.
“Lots of people are selling ‘happiness’ these days as if it were a marketable commodity. But in her hip self-transformation book, Add More ~ing to Your Life, motivational speaker and life coach Gabrielle Bernstein truly shows you how to make happiness a way of life. Ms Bernstein is bringing happy back. Designed to bulldoze negative thought patterns and create personal change through positive affirmations, physical activity and visualisation meditations, Gabrielle guides the reader to happiness in 30 days through her dynamic ~ing, a proven method of sharpening one’s intuitive senses and activating untapped inspirations. Gabrielle will prepare you to change your life by accessing a state of flow, helping you connect with your ~ing, your inner guide, and readying you to release your limiting beliefs and to choose happiness.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverSelf-therapy made easy / Marian Van Eyk McCain.
“This book is written for ordinary, well-adjusted people who like to solve their own problems and deal with their own issues and who are fully capable of doing so. Written by a highly qualified psychotherapist and based on many years of clinical experience and personal practice, it is an informative, inspirational and easy-to-read guide to understanding how the normal, human mind works and how we can all take charge of our own psychological, emotional and spiritual health. By trying out the various practices and techniques in this book you will soon find the ones that suit them best. Most people, once they have been introduced to these methods of ‘inner work’, go on using some or all of them for the rest of their lives to keep themselves inwardly healthy and to further their personal and spiritual growth.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverWhat makes us tick? : the ten desires that drive us / Hugh Mackay.
“Why do we talk as if we’re rational, but act as if we’re not? Why do some people always want to take control? What is the true role of religion? Why do we seek change, yet resist it? Why do we want more of the things that have failed to satisfy us? Why are we so passionate about sport? Why do we fall out of love? As Australia’s leading social researcher, Hugh Mackay has spent a lifetime of listening to people talk about their dreams, their fears, their hopes, their disappointments and their passions. In a series of bestselling books, he has documented the impact of the changes that have been radically reshaping our society. Now, he reflects on some of the things that don’t change and identitifies ten desires that drive us all. Insightful and engaging, WHAT MAKES US TICK? reveals Mackay’s formidable skills as a chronicler and interpreter of our motivations. In his exploration of why we do the things we do, he goes to the heart of some of life’s big questions.” (Book cover)

Seize the day – it’s never too late!

Begin with your thoughts and seize the day – whether you’re better than normal or exceptional, it’s never to late to be great!

Syndetics book coverIt’s your thoughts that count : how to use your thoughts to transform your life / by Wendy Betteridge.
“”Your thoughts that count” is a voyage through Wendy’s many training experiences. It brings together the best of what she’s learned as she has taught and trained others. Her book provides great skills for leaders and managers, confidence and certainty for sportsmen and women, comfort and solutions for those who are depressed or whose self esteem is low, techniques for children and young adults who are studying, and great communication skills for everyone. It provides the tools for seeking out personal values, for avoiding procrastination, for setting goals and committing to make them a reality.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverBetter than normal : how what makes you different can make you exceptional / Dale Archer.
“What if the inattentiveness that makes school or work a challenge holds the secret to your future as an entrepreneur? What if the anxiety you often feel can actually help energize you? Renowned psychiatrist Dr. Dale Archer believes that labels for behavior like “ADHD,” “bipolar,” and “OCD” are normal human qualities–and contends that we all experience these and other psychological traits to some extent, yet fail to leverage the significant advantages they can offer. Here, Dr. Archer offers a framework for redefining what constitutes mental health. Drawing on his twenty years of clinical experience, he describes eight traits of human behavior. Each of these occurs along a continuum rather than as a simple on-off switch (where “off ” means we’re fine, and “on” means we’ve got a problem). These are the aspects of our personality that we worry about the most, but these are also the very things that make us distinctive and different.” (Syndetics summary)

Syndetics book coverCouples : how we make love last / Kate Figes.
“These days, many of us enjoy unrivalled freedom and equality when it comes to choosing and building a relationship. Yet new myths about how to live and love compromise that happiness.Kate Figes argues that, whether married or cohabiting, gay or straight, remarried or a couple living apart, the quality of our intimate relationship is fundamental to our long-term health and happiness, because our need for commitment and love hasn’t changed.This is not a handbook. There are no easy ‘Mars and Venus’ universal recipes for success, because relationships are far too complicated, individual and important for easy answers. But learning how others sustain lifelong love, and what really goes on in other people’s lives can help us to understand our own partnerships and take responsibility for making them work. Couples is an incisive and important look at how we can learn to make love endure.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverNever too late to be great : the power of thinking long / Tom Butler-Bowden.
“It is rarely too late to begin the journey of being or doing something remarkable. ‘Never Too Late to be Great’ is about the power of thinking long. Drawing on wide research into ‘lead time’ and the ‘ten-year’ rule, personal development authority Tom Butler-Bowdon shows that, contrary to popular belief, people, companies, products and ideas invariably need time to realise their potential. And how, when we give ourselves slightly longer timeframes, anything is possible. At the age you are now, many famous and remarkable people were only just getting into their stride. Given longer lifespans, it is likely that you have more time than you think to achieve your goals. This book will show you why, in all probability, your best is yet to come.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverSeize the day : how the dying teach us to live / Marie de Hennezel ; translated by Carol Brown Janeway.
“Marie de Hennezel is a gifted psychologist who works as part of a remarkable team of doctors and nurses in a hospital for the terminally ill. In this eloquent book, she shares her unique perspective on what life and death really mean – and explores how talking about death, and facing up to it, can actually help us lead more abundant lives. The men and women who come to the palliative-care unit do not always know that they are dying. It is de Hennezel’s aim to bring them and their loved ones to this knowledge, and then to encourage them to live each day as fully and serenely as possible. Through insight and humanity, and the unforgettable people she helps, we learn how precious the final days of a person’s life can be and how deeply moving it is to share these moments with someone else. In an age where people hesitate to talk about dying, ‘Seize the Day’ lends us the strength to confront the mysteries of death, gives us hope and celebrates the courage of the human spirit.” (Global Books in Print)

Makeover your mind

March on this month – whether you want to redesign part or all of your life, have something you want to quit, a relationship to decide about, or want to learn about managing your mind more effectively. Or maybe you’re just curious about disgust… read on…

Syndetics book coverThe chimp paradox / Steve Peters.
“Do you sabotage your own happiness and success? Are you struggling to make sense of yourself? Do your emotions sometimes dictate your life? ‘The Chimp Paradox’ is an incredibly powerful mind management model that can help you become a happy, confident, healthier and more successful person. Dr Steve Peters explains the struggle that takes place within your mind and then shows how to apply this understanding to every area of your life so you can recognise how your mind is working, understand and manage your emotions and thoughts, and manage yourself and become the person you would like to be. Each chapter explains different aspects of how you function and highlights key facts for you to understand, along with exercises to help you see immediate improvements in your daily living and, over time, develop emotional skills and practical habits that will help you to become the person that you want to be, and live the life that you want to live.” – (adapted from Global Books in Print summary)

Syndetics book coverStay or leave : six steps to resolving your relationship indecision / Beverley Stone.
“You’re stuck in an unhappy relationship. You’re not sure you want to stay, but you can’t make up your mind to go. You’re stagnating… but feel powerless to do anything about it. Successful relationship psychologist Beverley Stone will get your life back on track. She uncovers the root of your confusion and helps you make the big decision: to stay and make a go of it in a radically improved relationship… or leave, confident and happy. Step by step, she helps you make your decision and put your choice into action, helping you to discover why your previous attempts have failed and covering all the possible options for your relationship – mending it, maintaining it … and, in the last resort, leaving it.” – (from the Book cover)

Syndetics book coverThat’s disgusting : unraveling the mysteries of repulsion / Rachel Herz.
“Disgust originated to prevent us from eating poisonous food, but this simple safety mechanism has since evolved into a uniquely human emotion that dictates how we treat others, shapes our cultural norms, and even has implications for our mental and physical health. ‘That’s Disgusting’ illuminates the science behind disgust, tackling such colourful topics as cannibalism, humour, and pornography to address larger questions: Why do sources of disgust vary among people and societies? Where does disgust come from in our brain and what deeper fears does it reflect? How does disgust influence our individual personalities, our daily lives, and our values? It turns out that disgust underlies more than we realize, from political ideologies to the lure of horror movies. Drawing on surprising research in psychology and evolutionary biology, ‘That’s Disgusting’ shows us that disgust mirrors human nature and, as a result, is as complex and varied as we are.” – (adapted from Global Books in Print summary)

Syndetics book coverUnhooked : how to quit anything / Frederick Woolverton and Susan Shapiro.
“Doctor and former patient join forces in this guide to kicking addiction, from heroin to shopping. Woolverton, founder and director of the Village Institute for Psychotherapy, has worked with addicts for 25 years. Even as a successful and self-aware professional, it was when he quit smoking that he gained crucial insight: “I had to let myself suffer, figure out where it was coming from, and figure out what that pain was trying to tell me.” The importance of taking those steps in that order is emphasized throughout; Woolverton bolsters his argument by noting that’s why 12-step programs work. Addicts “need to be told to stop right now or they might die”; afterward, self-exploration supports lasting recovery. Former patient and coauthor Shapiro can attest to this: 10 years ago, Woolverton helped her quit alcohol, marijuana, and cigarettes. She’s since discovered a passion for writing and published seven books. Her example and other case studies illustrate how Woolverton’s approach has worked for real people-and Woolverton’s willingness to share his own personal struggles add authenticity. Those stories and their positive message, combined with the authors’ concrete steps for identifying destructive behaviors and seeking help, make for a valuable, hopeful read.” – (adapted from Publisher Weekly review)

Syndetics book coverThe great life redesign : change how you work, live how you dream and make it happen today / Caroline Cameron.
“Are you always in a hurry, with too much to do and too little time? Do you ever feel that ‘back-to-work-tomorrow’ gnawing dread on Sunday nights? Are you trapped on a treadmill to nowhere and dreaming about how life could be, if only…? If any, or all, of these questions strike a chord with you, don’t despair – there is a way out. ‘The Great Life Redesign is an inspirational guide that will help you reshape the life you have into one you’ll love. Whether you need to redesign certain parts of your life that could be better, or undertake a major life renovation, Caroline Cameron shows you how. Featuring practical, easy-to-apply techniques, exercises, tools and tips, plus more than 30 inspirational case studies, you’ll soon be on your way to a great life.” – (from the Book cover)

Jump into personal development this month

Start the year fresh with our personal development picks: learn how to survive a ‘shark attack’ in the form of betrayal at work or at home, discover how to balance your relationship as life changes, find out about a form of compulsive behaviour called “dutiful worrying” (Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s latest book), or start learning how to decode the mysteries of personality and make sense of people. Have a browse of this month’s selection!

Syndetics book coverRenegotiate your marriage : balance the terms of your relationship as It changes / Bonnie Jacobson
“Like all married couples, you have an unwritten, often unspoken, contract with your spouse. It’s not the piece of paper you signed on your wedding day; it’s the one in your head that sets the terms of your relationship, for better or worse. Those terms are subject to change, whether it’s because you lost your job, you just had your first child, your kids leave home, or one of you had an affair. In Renegotiate Your Marriage, Dr. Bonnie Jacobsen shows you how to modify your contract as your life together changes. You’ll learn how to negotiate the ups and downs that come with any long-term relationship – and keep your union happy, healthy and strong.” (Book cover)
 
Syndetics book coverMaking sense of people : decoding the mysteries of personality / Samuel Barondes
“What really bothers you about your boss – or your daughter’s boyfriend? Could the person you’re dating really become your life partner? Can you really rely on your intuition about people? Drawing on extensive research, renowned psychiatrist and neuroscientist Samuel Barondes gives you powerful, easy-to-use tools for understanding what people are really like and how they got to be the way they are. These tools will provide you with a system for assessing the person’s traits, character, and sense of identity, and then putting these elements together into a unified picture. Learning to think of people in this way will help you choose more satisfying relationships, recognise telltale signs of dysfunction and danger, and savour the complexity and uniqueness of everyone you meet.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverThe dutiful worrier : how to stop compulsive worry without feeling guilty / Elliot D. Cohen.
“Do you feel it’s our duty to worry? If your answer to the question is “yes,” you may be suffering from a type of compulsive behaviour called dutiful worrying. On the positive side, Dutiful worrying can make you feel as if you’re actually doing something to improve or control your situation. But this unproductive habit eventually robs you of energy and peace of mind and can leave you feeling over whelmed. The Dutiful Worrier pinpoints why some of us become compulsive worriers and offers a four-step program to end this vicious circle. Complete with self-evaluations and exercises, this book offers guidance for keeping perspective and accepting that you are not responsible for preventing catastrophe. Without the burden of dutiful worrying, you will be able to enjoy life more freely and fully.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverSurviving a shark attack (on land) : overcoming betrayal and dealing with revenge / Laura Schlessinger.
“With her trademark no-nonsense approach, New York Times bestselling author Dr. Laura Schlessinger shows readers how to survive enemies – traitors, backstabbers, and saboteurs – at work and at home. Schlessinger has helped countless men and women become better husbands, wives, parents, and people. She’s helped them cope with grief, shown them how to handle adversity, and set them on the path to understanding and living happy, well-adjusted lives. Now she turns to an emotionally explosive subject that has touched all our lives: betrayal and the desire for revenge. And for the first time, she shares her own personal experiences with betrayal, humiliation, and pain, connecting with her readers as never before and putting this important subject into context. Powerful and thought-provoking, in Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land), Dr. Laura gives her readers the emotional defenses they need to overcome the worst life will throw at them, whether it’s a cheating spouse, a lying sibling, or a ruthless colleague.” (Book cover)

A pinch and a dash for your personal journeys

A map to find your way and a dose of willpower to win friends in the digital age, find love after 35, and liberation from anxiety make up our mix of new personal development picks this month.

Syndetics book coverHow to win friends and influence people in the digital age / Dale Carnegie & Associates ; with Brent Cole.
“Since its initial publication, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold a total of 15 million copies. The book continues to sell briskly today, but Carnegie never anticipated the ways in which the digital age would provide new tools and challenges for winning friends and influencing people. The advent of social networking sites, the dominance of email, and the ways in which the Internet has supplanted face-to-face interactions have made Carnegie’s precepts all the more immediate and vital. Brent Cole, working in tandem with Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc., has re-imagined the original book for the digital age, updating and reframing Carnegie’s insights about communication, self expression, and leadership.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverWillpower : rediscovering the greatest human strength / Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney.
”For years the old-fashioned, even Victorian, value of willpower has been disparaged by psychologists who argued that we’re largely driven by unconscious forces beyond our control. Here Roy Baumeister, one of the world’s most esteemed and influential psychologists, and journalist John Tierney, turn this notion on its head. They show us that willpower is like a muscle that can be strengthened with practice. The latest laboratory work reveals that self-control has a physical basis and so is dramatically affected by simple things such as eating and sleeping – to the extent that a life-changing decision may go in different directions depending on whether it’s made before or after lunch. You will discover how babies can be taught willpower, the joys of the to-don’t list, the success of Alcoholics Anonymous, the pointlessness of diets and the secrets to David Blaine’s stunts. There are also fascinating personal stories, from explorers, students, soldiers, ex-addicts and parents. Based on years of psychological research and filled with practical advice, this book will teach you how to gain from self-control without pain, and discover the very real power in willpower.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverThe map : finding the magic and meaning in the story of your life / Colette Baron-Reid.
“In this inspiring and illuminating book, internationally acclaimed intuitive counsellor Colette Baron-Reid shares powerful life-changing concepts and practical methods to guide you on your personal Quest for wholeness and meaning. Discover the powerful symbiotic link between the psychospiritual world you inhabit and the outer conditions that influence your perception of reality. Understand that your contemporary desire to ‘have it all’ is incomplete, masking a profound yearning for connection, integrity and wholeness. Uncover the secret of how to identify, explore, and ultimately transform the inner world you inhabit through the powerful, universal metaphors of the environment, where you identify where you are deep in the landscape of your psyche, when that place was created and why it keeps calling you back and away from the true present, and who the voices are that you’re listening to, which help or hinder you on your life’s greatest journey.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverLove for grown-ups : the Garter Brides’ guide to marrying for life when you’ve already got a life / Ann Blumenthal Jacobs, Patricia Ryan Lampl, Tish Rabe ; with Toni Sciarra Poynter.
“Over thirty-five and still seeking that special someone? About to take a serious relationship to the next level and want to make sure it works – for keeps? The Garter Brides can help! These three friends – whose name derived from the lucky garter passed from one woman to another – met and married wonderful men later in life. Now you can tap into the wisdom of this special sisterhood through the true stories and real-life strategies these women – plus the dozens of others they interviewed – used to meet the right guy, fall in love and create exciting, happy and fulfilling lives.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverThings might go terribly, horribly wrong : a guide to life liberated from anxiety / Kelly G. Wilson, Troy DuFrene.
“Rejecting the use of diagnostic labels (agoraphobia, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.) as part of a medical legacy best left behind, psychologist Wilson (Mindfulness for Two) and writer Dufrene (Coping with OCD) approach anxiety as a mild dysfunction treatable with “acceptance and commitment therapy” (ACT), a way of becoming “more psychologically limber” in order to “negotiate crowds, participate in social functions, take risks, and so forth.” The collaborators contend that behind much anxiety is an inability to deal with ambiguity; as such, they suggest a series of exercises to stop the cycle of brooding that arises from problems that do not have clear, immediate solutions (and which may be unsolvable). Many of the techniques they propose (visualization, “mindful breathing practice”) are familiar exercises in mindfulness, but the most important message of ACT is not to avoid situations that produce anxiety. Instead, this empathetic guide helps readers recognize that brooding over painful or disorienting thoughts is a natural part of everyone’s life, necessitating the flexibility to “work around obstacles inside our own heads.” (Syndetics)

What to do do, what not to do, and no regrets

Things might go terribly wrong, or you might marry the wrong man. Or you could rewire your brain and live with your heart wide open and no regrets. Figure it all out with some of our latest new books this August.

Syndetics book coverLiving with your heart wide open : how mindfulness & compassion can free you from unworthiness, inadequacy & shame / Steve Flowers, Bob Stahl.
“The way we talk to ourselves is often unkind and filled with self-judgments. These overly harsh self-criticisms can make us feel unworthy and incomplete. What if what you really need is not higher standards for yourself, but greater self-compassion? In Living with Your Heart Wide Open, you’ll discover how mindfulness and self-compassion can free you from the thoughts and beliefs that create feelings of inadequacy and learn to open your heart to the loving-kindness within you and in the world around you.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverZero degrees of empathy : a new theory of human cruelty / Simon Baron-Cohen.
“Simon Baron-Cohen, expert in autism and developmental psychopathology, has always wanted to isolate and understand the factors that cause people to treat others as if they were mere objects. In this book he proposes a radical shift, turning the focus away from evil and on to the central factor, empathy. Unlike the concept of evil, he argues, empathy has real explanatory power.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverRewire your brain : think your way to a better life / John B. Arden.
“Once thought to be “hard-wired,” the brain is actually “soft-wired” by experience – meaning it is possible to rewire parts of your brain to improve everything from your mood and your memory to your relationships, sleeping habits, and more. Rewire Your Brain guides you through this breakthrough process, revealing how to minimize your anxiety and enhance your brain’s longevity in order to live a vibrant life free of self-imposed limitations.” (From the book cover)

Syndetics book coverWhom not to marry : time-tested advice from a higher authority / Father Pat Connor.
“Father Pat Connor knows marriages. Having presided over more than two hundred weddings and conducted pre-marriage and marriage counseling for more than forty years, he’s something of an expert. And now he is sharing his wealth of experience with women everywhere on the subject of Whom Not to Marry. Father Pat’s philosophy is simple: A love affair may lead to marriage, but love itself cannot make a marriage work. That’s why it’s important to weed out the bad seed’s before you fall in love. Sounds easy enough, but in the early stages of romance, when infatuation trumps judgment, it can be difficult to see the flaws in your mate and to think rationally about your future. That’s where this book comes in.” (Global Books in Print)

Syndetics book coverNo regrets : last chance for a father and son / Barry Neil Kaufman.
“This books emphasizes the opportunities presented when the challenge of facing the death of a loved one knocks at your door. Instead of focusing on the need to grieve, the Author explores the beautiful relationship that can develope in the final years, months, weeks or days between family members that can serve to heal the wounds of life. This book is a must for anyone who is either approaching or going through the illness or death of a loved one.”  (Amazon.com customer review)

Genie, personal growth & relationships

In June learn about your genie within, the conscious pursuit of personal growth, or find some answers to everyday questions about relationships.  We also have a couple of new picks particularly for those amongst us who are worrywarts or anxious to please.

Syndetics book coverThe genie within : your subconscious mind : how it works and how to use it / Harry W. Carpenter.
“You have a genie that will grant your wishes. But, your genie will not grant wishes simply by rubbing a lamp or uncorking a magical bottle. The genie is your subconscious mind, and you must know how it works and how to use it before it will be your powerful servant. This book is your instruction manual. The Genie Within is not “feel-good” stories and “have-faith” platitudes. This book explains in layman terms how to use your magnificent, powerful subconscious mind. It explains how your subconscious mind works, the laws it obeys, and ten proven methods for using it easily and effortlessly. Once you have this information, you can use your genie to achieve goals, be more creative, change undesirable traits, and improve your health.”
(Book cover)

Syndetics book coverThe worrywart’s companion : twenty-one ways to soothe yourself and worry smart / Beverly Potter.
“Do you lie awake at night agonizing over things that could happen? Do you automatically expect the worst? Have you worried obsessively about things only to have everything turn out okay? Instead of worrying yourself sick, let The Worrywort’s Companion show you how to worry smart and soothe yourself so that you can think more clearly, deal with the worry at hand, and then let it go. With the tips in this book you will be able to release yourself from worry and learn to enjoy every moment – no matter where your life takes you.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverAnxious to please : 7 revolutionary practices for the chronically nice / James Rapson & Craig English.
“Do you (or does someone you know) apologize frequently or for things you are not responsible for? Get preoccupied with what other people think of you? Become unhappy when your partner isn’t happy? Feel worried or fretful so often it seems normal? Often not know what you want? Constantly second-guess yourself? Chronic Niceness affects multitudes, causing severe anxiety and depression, crippling self-esteem, and undermining and destroying relationships. Anxious to Please reveals the primary psychological cause of Chronic Niceness – Anxious Attachment. Anxious Attachment drives the Nice Person to accommodate, acquiesce and avoid conflict. Nice People take what they’re given rather than asking for what they want, often sacrificing relationship, careers and their own integrity. Anxious to Please presents seven powerful practices designed to bring about: resilient self-esteem; a happier and calmer emotional life; a reality-based optimism for the future; fulfilling sex; and satisfying relationships.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverAnswers to everyday questions about relationships : when to stay, when to go and how to make it work / Jo Lamble.
“Jo Lamble, Australia’s leading relationships expert, knows the answers to all the questions you’ve been dying to ask. For nearly twenty years she has helped singletons, those in the first flush of love and long-time couples negotiate the thorny territory of dating, love and splitting up. This pragmatic guide reveals how to strengthen and enrich your relationship and how to tell if it’s time to let it go. Jo quashes myths about commitment, infidelity and sex and tells you the early warning signs of trouble to watch out for – and she answers real questions from real people, showing you how to make bad relationships better and good relationships great.” (Book cover)

Syndetics book coverPersonal development for smart people : the conscious pursuit of personal growth / Steve Pavlina.
“Despite promises of “fast and easy” results from slick marketers, real personal growth is neither fast nor easy. The truth is that hard work, courage, and self-discipline are required to achieve meaningful results – results that aren’t attained by those who cling to the fantasy of achievement without effort. Personal Development for Smart People reveals the unvarnished truth about what it takes to consciously grow as a human being. As you read, you’ll learn the seven universal principles behind all successful growth efforts (truth, love, power, oneness, authority, courage, and intelligence), as well as practical insightful methods for improving your health, relationships, career, finances, and more. With its refreshingly honest yet highly motivating style, this fascinating book will help you courageously explore, creatively express, and consciously embrace your extraordinary human journey.” (Book cover)

New personal development (self-help) books for March

In March, learn how to unify how you act with how you speak by mastering body language, embrace failure and learn from it, use mindfulness and meditation to live well with pain and illness, delve into the weird and wonderful world of dating, and understand how attachment styles can impact on relationships – whether you’re in one already or looking for one.

Syndetics book coverAttached : the new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find- and keep -love / Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
“According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Levine and social psychologist Heller, one’s adult romantic partnerships have patterns similar to those one has as a child with one’s parents. Our individual attachment styles are thus, they conclude, hardwired into our brains. Focusing on three main attachment styles (secure, anxious, and avoidant), the authors explain the biological facts behind our relationship needs, teach readers how to identify their own and loved ones’ attachment styles, and warn of the emotional price of connecting with someone with drastically different intimacy needs. Teaching readers communication skills to breach these differences, the authors stress that people have very different capacities for intimacy, and that partners must ensure each other’s emotional well-being. Chock-full of tips, questionnaires, and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of “looking for love in all the right places.” (from Syndetics)

Syndetics book coverLiving well with pain & illness : the mindful way to free yourself from suffering / Vidyamala Burch.
“After two spinal injuries, Vidyamala Burch found herself facing the loneliness of disability and chronic pain with few skills or resources to turn to. But instead of giving up, she set out on a mission to embrace her physical and emotional challenges with awareness, compassion, and peace. Drawing on the wisdom of a dozen years teaching meditation and a lifetime studying the benefits of mindful living, Vidyamala shows us a five-step model of mindfulness and how to use it to foster stress reduction and healing; the Breathworks approach to meditation and how to apply it to health concerns such as migraines, arthritis, and chronic fatigue; and step-by-step techniques and case studies that demonstrate how to effectively bring mindfulness into daily life.” (Book jacket)

Syndetics book coverFailure is an option : how setbacks breed success / Terry Robson.
“Everybody has experienced failure at some stage – and we will no doubt experience it again, perhaps many times. The question is: does failure get the credit it deserves? In this inspiring and practical book, Terry Robson reveals how success cannot be achieved without a willingness to embrace failure – and shows us the opportunity that failure presents us to reflect and reassess. He delves into the notion of failure from philosophical, psychological and spiritual perspectives, and provides the tools we need to not only cope with failure, but also to learn from it.” (Book jacket)

Syndetics book coverWhat your body says (and how to master the message) : inspire, influence, build trust, and create lasting business relationships / Sharon Sayler ;
“What Your Body Says gives you the straight-up’ “how-to” on unifying what you say with what you do, allowing you to better connect with other people and reach your full leadership potential. It gives you a clear and simple process to follow, all drawn from an intense study of how language impacts people’s lives and emotions. Filled with useful tools, strategies, and techniques, this book gives you the key to speak intelligently while looking smart, engaging and real; deliver unpleasant messages without pain or guilt; having a committee meeting and getting something done; and more.” (from Syndetics)

Syndetics book coverThe science of single : one woman’s grand experiment in modern dating, creating chemistry, and finding love / Rachel Machacek.
“With warmth, insight, and a terrific sense of humour, Rachel Machacek tackles the world of dating with a journalist’s eye and a scientist’s curiosity. She committed a year of her dating life to trying every mainstream (and no-so-mainstream) method of meeting potential mates, from singles events and dating coaches, to speed dating and online personals. After each trial, she weighed the pros and cons. As a result, Rachel met men. Lots of men. And although she started the experiment with hopes of finding the right one, what she learns and share in the process is unexpected, heartwarming, and infinitely more exciting.” (Book jacket)


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