News Blog @ Wellington City Libraries

Start the year fresh with our personal development picks: learn how to survive a ‘shark attack’ in the form of betrayal at work or at home, discover how to balance your relationship as life changes, find out about a form of compulsive behaviour called “dutiful worrying” (Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s latest book), or start learning how to decode the mysteries of personality and make sense of people. Have a browse of this month’s selection!

Renegotiate your marriage : balance the terms of your relationship as It changes / Bonnie Jacobson
“Like all married couples, you have an unwritten, often unspoken, contract with your spouse. It’s not the piece of paper you signed on your wedding day; it’s the one in your head that sets the terms of your relationship, for better or worse. Those terms are subject to change, whether it’s because you lost your job, you just had your first child, your kids leave home, or one of you had an affair. In Renegotiate Your Marriage, Dr. Bonnie Jacobsen shows you how to modify your contract as your life together changes. You’ll learn how to negotiate the ups and downs that come with any long-term relationship – and keep your union happy, healthy and strong.” (Book cover)
 
Making sense of people : decoding the mysteries of personality / Samuel Barondes
“What really bothers you about your boss – or your daughter’s boyfriend? Could the person you’re dating really become your life partner? Can you really rely on your intuition about people? Drawing on extensive research, renowned psychiatrist and neuroscientist Samuel Barondes gives you powerful, easy-to-use tools for understanding what people are really like and how they got to be the way they are. These tools will provide you with a system for assessing the person’s traits, character, and sense of identity, and then putting these elements together into a unified picture. Learning to think of people in this way will help you choose more satisfying relationships, recognise telltale signs of dysfunction and danger, and savour the complexity and uniqueness of everyone you meet.” (Book cover)

The dutiful worrier : how to stop compulsive worry without feeling guilty / Elliot D. Cohen.
“Do you feel it’s our duty to worry? If your answer to the question is “yes,” you may be suffering from a type of compulsive behaviour called dutiful worrying. On the positive side, Dutiful worrying can make you feel as if you’re actually doing something to improve or control your situation. But this unproductive habit eventually robs you of energy and peace of mind and can leave you feeling over whelmed. The Dutiful Worrier pinpoints why some of us become compulsive worriers and offers a four-step program to end this vicious circle. Complete with self-evaluations and exercises, this book offers guidance for keeping perspective and accepting that you are not responsible for preventing catastrophe. Without the burden of dutiful worrying, you will be able to enjoy life more freely and fully.” (Book cover)

Surviving a shark attack (on land) : overcoming betrayal and dealing with revenge / Laura Schlessinger.
“With her trademark no-nonsense approach, New York Times bestselling author Dr. Laura Schlessinger shows readers how to survive enemies – traitors, backstabbers, and saboteurs – at work and at home. Schlessinger has helped countless men and women become better husbands, wives, parents, and people. She’s helped them cope with grief, shown them how to handle adversity, and set them on the path to understanding and living happy, well-adjusted lives. Now she turns to an emotionally explosive subject that has touched all our lives: betrayal and the desire for revenge. And for the first time, she shares her own personal experiences with betrayal, humiliation, and pain, connecting with her readers as never before and putting this important subject into context. Powerful and thought-provoking, in Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land), Dr. Laura gives her readers the emotional defenses they need to overcome the worst life will throw at them, whether it’s a cheating spouse, a lying sibling, or a ruthless colleague.” (Book cover)

December/January is traditionally the time for New Year’s resolutions, and here are a few books to help you better understand some of the factors that can undermine – or help you succeed – with these. Find out why successful and capable people often still suffer from imposter syndrome, understand the magic behind those moments when everything just seems to ‘click’, discover what it is about human nature that makes us prone to wilful blindness, and find out how the believing brain works. Enjoy!

The secret thoughts of successful women : why capable people suffer from the impostor syndrome and how to thrive in spite of it / Valerie Young.
“An internationally known speaker, Valerie Young has devoted her career to understanding women’s most deeply held beliefs about themselves and their success. In her decades of in-the-trenches research, she has uncovered the often surprising reasons why so many accomplished women experience this crushing self-doubt. In The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Young gives these women the solution they have been seeking. Combining insightful analysis with effective advice and anecdotes, she explains what the impostor syndrome is, why fraud fears are more common in women, and how you can recognize the way it manifests in your life.” (Syndetics summary)

Click : the magic of instant connections – and how they can transform our work and relationships / Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman.
“In a book that combines psychology and sociology with an insightful understanding of human interactions, Ori and Rom Brafman have written a compelling narrative that helps us to understand the magic behind those moments when we form an incredible connection with other people, or which cause us to become fully engaged in whatever we are doing. In a page-turning narrative in the fashion of their previous book, Sway, the co-authors explore those peak moments in our lives when people or hobbies or activities fully engage our attention – when they ‘click’ with us. Drawing from recent research in psychology and sociology, and told through the same kinds of engaging stories that made Sway a New York Times bestseller, Click takes us on a roller coaster journey of discovery into those moments in our lives when we are ‘in the zone’ – when the rest of the world drops away and everything seems to fall into place.” (Global Books in Print)

Wilful blindness : why we ignore the obvious at our peril / Margaret Heffernan.
“In this book, distinguished business woman and writer, Margaret Heffernan, examines the phenomenon of wilful blindness. Drawing on a wide array of sources from psychological studies and social statistics to interviews with the relevant protagonists she examines what it is about human nature which makes us so prone to wilful blindness. Taught from infancy to obey authority, and absorbing the importance of selective vision as a key social skill, humans exacerbate their tendency to become institutionalised by joining organisations which are run by like-minded people. She looks at how hard-work and the information overload of the modern workplace add to the problem. And she examines why whistleblowers and Cassandras are so very rare. Ranging freely through history and from business to science, government to the family, this engaging and anecdotal book will explain why wilful blindness is so dangerous in the globalised, interconnected world in which we live, before suggesting ways in which institutions and individuals can start to combat it. In the tradition of Malcolm Gladwell and Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Margaret Heffernan’s thought provoking book will force open our eyes.” (Global Books in Print)

The believing brain : from ghosts and gods to politics and conspiracies–how we construct beliefs and reinforce them as truths / Michael Shermer.
“Synthesizing thirty years of research, psychologist and science historian Michael Shermer upends the traditional thinking about how humans form beliefs about the world. Simply put, beliefs come first and explanations for beliefs follow. The brain, Shermer argues, is a belief engine. Using sensory data that flow in through the senses, the brain naturally begins to look for and find patterns, and then infuses those patterns with meaning, forming beliefs. Once beliefs are formed the brain begins to look for and find confirmatory evidence in support of those beliefs, accelerating the process of reinforcing them, and round and round the process goes in a positive-feedback loop.In The Believing Brain, Shermer provides countless real-world examples of how this process operates, from politics, economics, and religion to conspiracy theories, the supernatural, and the paranormal. And ultimately, he demonstrates why science is the best tool ever devised to determine whether or not our beliefs match reality.” (Global Books in Print)

30-second psychology : the 50 most thought-provoking psychology theories, each explained in half a minute / editor, Christian Jarrett
“30-Second Psychology takes the top 50 strands of thinking in this fascinating field, and explains them to the general reader in half a minute, using nothing more than two pages, 300 words and one picture. While unravelling the inner workings of the human mind it also introduces many of the luminaries in the field along the way, including William James, Aaron Beck and (of course) Sigmund Freud. From Behaviourism to Cognitivism, what better way to get a handle on your inner demons?” (Book jacket)

A map to find your way and a dose of willpower to win friends in the digital age, find love after 35, and liberation from anxiety make up our mix of new personal development picks this month.

How to win friends and influence people in the digital age / Dale Carnegie & Associates ; with Brent Cole.
“Since its initial publication, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold a total of 15 million copies. The book continues to sell briskly today, but Carnegie never anticipated the ways in which the digital age would provide new tools and challenges for winning friends and influencing people. The advent of social networking sites, the dominance of email, and the ways in which the Internet has supplanted face-to-face interactions have made Carnegie’s precepts all the more immediate and vital. Brent Cole, working in tandem with Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc., has re-imagined the original book for the digital age, updating and reframing Carnegie’s insights about communication, self expression, and leadership.” (Global Books in Print)

Willpower : rediscovering the greatest human strength / Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney.
”For years the old-fashioned, even Victorian, value of willpower has been disparaged by psychologists who argued that we’re largely driven by unconscious forces beyond our control. Here Roy Baumeister, one of the world’s most esteemed and influential psychologists, and journalist John Tierney, turn this notion on its head. They show us that willpower is like a muscle that can be strengthened with practice. The latest laboratory work reveals that self-control has a physical basis and so is dramatically affected by simple things such as eating and sleeping – to the extent that a life-changing decision may go in different directions depending on whether it’s made before or after lunch. You will discover how babies can be taught willpower, the joys of the to-don’t list, the success of Alcoholics Anonymous, the pointlessness of diets and the secrets to David Blaine’s stunts. There are also fascinating personal stories, from explorers, students, soldiers, ex-addicts and parents. Based on years of psychological research and filled with practical advice, this book will teach you how to gain from self-control without pain, and discover the very real power in willpower.” (Global Books in Print)

The map : finding the magic and meaning in the story of your life / Colette Baron-Reid.
“In this inspiring and illuminating book, internationally acclaimed intuitive counsellor Colette Baron-Reid shares powerful life-changing concepts and practical methods to guide you on your personal Quest for wholeness and meaning. Discover the powerful symbiotic link between the psychospiritual world you inhabit and the outer conditions that influence your perception of reality. Understand that your contemporary desire to ‘have it all’ is incomplete, masking a profound yearning for connection, integrity and wholeness. Uncover the secret of how to identify, explore, and ultimately transform the inner world you inhabit through the powerful, universal metaphors of the environment, where you identify where you are deep in the landscape of your psyche, when that place was created and why it keeps calling you back and away from the true present, and who the voices are that you’re listening to, which help or hinder you on your life’s greatest journey.” (Global Books in Print)

Love for grown-ups : the Garter Brides’ guide to marrying for life when you’ve already got a life / Ann Blumenthal Jacobs, Patricia Ryan Lampl, Tish Rabe ; with Toni Sciarra Poynter.
“Over thirty-five and still seeking that special someone? About to take a serious relationship to the next level and want to make sure it works – for keeps? The Garter Brides can help! These three friends – whose name derived from the lucky garter passed from one woman to another – met and married wonderful men later in life. Now you can tap into the wisdom of this special sisterhood through the true stories and real-life strategies these women – plus the dozens of others they interviewed – used to meet the right guy, fall in love and create exciting, happy and fulfilling lives.” (Book cover)

Things might go terribly, horribly wrong : a guide to life liberated from anxiety / Kelly G. Wilson, Troy DuFrene.
“Rejecting the use of diagnostic labels (agoraphobia, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.) as part of a medical legacy best left behind, psychologist Wilson (Mindfulness for Two) and writer Dufrene (Coping with OCD) approach anxiety as a mild dysfunction treatable with “acceptance and commitment therapy” (ACT), a way of becoming “more psychologically limber” in order to “negotiate crowds, participate in social functions, take risks, and so forth.” The collaborators contend that behind much anxiety is an inability to deal with ambiguity; as such, they suggest a series of exercises to stop the cycle of brooding that arises from problems that do not have clear, immediate solutions (and which may be unsolvable). Many of the techniques they propose (visualization, “mindful breathing practice”) are familiar exercises in mindfulness, but the most important message of ACT is not to avoid situations that produce anxiety. Instead, this empathetic guide helps readers recognize that brooding over painful or disorienting thoughts is a natural part of everyone’s life, necessitating the flexibility to “work around obstacles inside our own heads.” (Syndetics)

Spring is here! Take a fresh look at positive emotions, connections and belonging, well-being, and the journey of the soul – with a dash of intuition along the way…

True belonging : mindful practices to help you overcome loneliness, connect with others & cultivate happiness / Jeffrey Brantley, Wendy Millstine.
“When was the last time you experienced authentic connections with others, truly felt that you belonged, and were surrounded by people who really understood you? Even though many of us experience the power of deep connection much less often than we would like, this sense of true belonging is always available to us, regardless of our outside circumstances. True Belonging offers over thirty reflective practices that will help you explore your interdependence with all living things, treat yourself more kindly, and create richer connections with others.” (From the book cover)

Well-being : the five essential elements / Tom Rath, Jim Harter.
“When striving to improve our lives, we’re quick to buy into programs that promise to help us make money, lose weight, or strengthen our relationships. While it might be easier to treat these critical areas in our lives as if they are independent, they’re not. Gallup’s comprehensive study of people in more than 150 countries revealed five universal interconnected elements that shape our lives: Career Wellbeing, Social Wellbeing, Financial Wellbeing, Physical Wellbeing, and Community Wellbeing. ‘Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements’ provides you with a holistic view of what contributes to your wellbeing over a lifetime. Written in a conversational style by #1 New York Times bestselling author Tom Rath and bestselling author Jim Harter, Ph.D., this book is filled with fascinating research and innovative ideas for boosting your wellbeing in each of these five areas.” (From the book cover)

Intuition : keys to unlocking your inner wisdom / Paul Fenton-Smith ; design by Cristina Re.
“Well developed intuition can help you to achieve success in love, career and in your social life. Discover the closely guarded secrets of a professional clairvoyant through games and exercises as you learn these powerful psychic techniques. At any moment in life, you stand between your footprints and your future. Look back closely at where you have been, as your steps have led you here. Glance ahead with confidence that in the end, your life journey is both a gift and a puzzle. Strengthening your intuition helps you to understand this puzzle, which then allows you to enjoy your gift. This beautifully presented guide combines effective techniques with riveting examples from life to help you enjoy your unique journey towards improved intuition.” (From the book cover)

The survival of the soul : do you want to know everything?/ Lisa Williams.
“Many of us have questions about the passage of life and often wonder what happens when we die. In this amazingly insightful book by medium/clairvoyant Lisa Williams, evidence of the afterlife is explored. Through various channels such as meditation, psychic readings, communication with her Spirit Guide and a personal near-death experience, Lisa delves into the journey of the soul, discusses the different stages of the afterlife, and reveals what life is really like on the other side. This book addresses the myriad questions many of us have surrounding this subject, especially if we’ve gone through the painful experience of having lost loved ones. Lisa provides a reassuring glimpse into this fascinating topic by exploring the pathway to the afterlife and then to reincarnation; with the realisation that death is not final, but rather a transition into the world beyond – a place that should be honoured, not feared.” (courtesy of Syndetics)

Positivity : groundbreaking research to release your inner optimist and thrive / Barbara Frederickson.
“Drawing on more than twenty years of scientific research into positive emotions, world renowned researcher Dr Barbara Fredrickson shows us that attaining positivity is not about striving to be an annoyingly and unnaturally cheerful ‘Pollyanna’. Rather, it is about putting into practice the ‘3-to-1 ratio’ of positive to negative emotions, the crucial tipping point that will enable you to embark on an ‘upward spiral’ towards a healthier, more vibrant, and flourishing life.” (Global Books in Print)

Shake off the winter blues and embrace the spring with fresh ideas about cooking, gardening and craft projects for your home and garden by browsing through our latest selection of library books. Get inspired by the clever design ideas shown in our picture gallery below.

“Wellington on the Plate” display at the Wellington Central Library

Library News

• Great new graphic novels

Things might go terribly wrong, or you might marry the wrong man. Or you could rewire your brain and live with your heart wide open and no regrets. Figure it all out with some of our latest new books this August.

Living with your heart wide open : how mindfulness & compassion can free you from unworthiness, inadequacy & shame / Steve Flowers, Bob Stahl.
“The way we talk to ourselves is often unkind and filled with self-judgments. These overly harsh self-criticisms can make us feel unworthy and incomplete. What if what you really need is not higher standards for yourself, but greater self-compassion? In Living with Your Heart Wide Open, you’ll discover how mindfulness and self-compassion can free you from the thoughts and beliefs that create feelings of inadequacy and learn to open your heart to the loving-kindness within you and in the world around you.” (Book cover)

Zero degrees of empathy : a new theory of human cruelty / Simon Baron-Cohen.
“Simon Baron-Cohen, expert in autism and developmental psychopathology, has always wanted to isolate and understand the factors that cause people to treat others as if they were mere objects. In this book he proposes a radical shift, turning the focus away from evil and on to the central factor, empathy. Unlike the concept of evil, he argues, empathy has real explanatory power.” (Global Books in Print)

Rewire your brain : think your way to a better life / John B. Arden.
“Once thought to be “hard-wired,” the brain is actually “soft-wired” by experience – meaning it is possible to rewire parts of your brain to improve everything from your mood and your memory to your relationships, sleeping habits, and more. Rewire Your Brain guides you through this breakthrough process, revealing how to minimize your anxiety and enhance your brain’s longevity in order to live a vibrant life free of self-imposed limitations.” (From the book cover)

Whom not to marry : time-tested advice from a higher authority / Father Pat Connor.
“Father Pat Connor knows marriages. Having presided over more than two hundred weddings and conducted pre-marriage and marriage counseling for more than forty years, he’s something of an expert. And now he is sharing his wealth of experience with women everywhere on the subject of Whom Not to Marry. Father Pat’s philosophy is simple: A love affair may lead to marriage, but love itself cannot make a marriage work. That’s why it’s important to weed out the bad seed’s before you fall in love. Sounds easy enough, but in the early stages of romance, when infatuation trumps judgment, it can be difficult to see the flaws in your mate and to think rationally about your future. That’s where this book comes in.” (Global Books in Print)

No regrets : last chance for a father and son / Barry Neil Kaufman.
“This books emphasizes the opportunities presented when the challenge of facing the death of a loved one knocks at your door. Instead of focusing on the need to grieve, the Author explores the beautiful relationship that can develope in the final years, months, weeks or days between family members that can serve to heal the wounds of life. This book is a must for anyone who is either approaching or going through the illness or death of a loved one.”  (Amazon.com customer review)

How best can we help those around us when they are facing challenging times? What little things can make a big difference in our daily lives? And how do we find true wealth, understand the impact of the mother-daughter bond on young girls developing sense of sexuality and self esteem, or begin to comprehend the emotional rollercoaster for those who have faced infertility and loss of pregnancies?  Read on to find out more…

The power of small : why little things make all the difference / Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval.
“The authors of the national bestseller ‘The Power of Nice’ once again tackle conventional wisdom with a provocative and counterintuitive book about the importance of sweating the small stuff in our lives and in our careers. Our smallest actions and gestures often have outsized impact on our biggest goals, say Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval. Did you double-check that presentation one last time, or hold the elevator for a stranger? Going that extra inch – whether with a client, customer, family member, or friend – speaks volumes to others about our talent, personality, and motivations. Written in the same entertaining, story-driven style that made ‘The Power of Nice’ the go-to book for finishing first, ‘The Power of Small’ demonstrates how all of us can harness the power of small to improve and reinvent our lives.” (from Global Books in Print)

What really helps : using mindfulness and compassionate presence to help, support, and encourage others / Karen Kissel Wegela.
“Most of us, at one time or another, would like to help a friend, family member, or acquaintance through a challenging time. But do we really know how to give meaningful support and guidance? And why do our best efforts at helping others often come up short? Here is a practical guide that will be of special interest to helping professionals-and anyone who wants to make a positive difference in the lives of people they care about”. (Book cover)

Beyond wealth : the road map to a rich life / Alexander Green.
“Beyond Wealth by New York Times bestselling author Alexander Green is a blueprint for personal prosperity. But the rewards are more than just financial. The book reveals fail-proof, time-tested strategies to help you achieve maximum success in both your business and personal life. One of the nation’s highest-rated and most-admired investment analysts, Mr. Green offers ageless wisdom and a priceless perspective that draws on today’s best business minds as well as many of the world’s great philosophers from Ancient times right through to the Modern Era. Beyond Wealth is both a deeply inspiring read and a concrete plan that shows you the shortest and most direct route to what the author calls “True Wealth.” (Syndetics summary)

Your daughter’s bedroom : insights for raising confident women / Joyce T. McFadden.
“In ‘Your Daughters’ Bedroom’ psychotherapist Joyce McFadden argues that mothers loom large in the psyche of young girls and that, in their quest to create perfect daughters, mothers may be hurting them instead. By making offhanded comments that impair their daughter’s confidence or hiding facts about themselves as sexual women, mothers can unintentionally cause girls to feel isolated, left alone to confront their burgeoning sexuality during the most confusing time of their lives. Drawing on the personal testimonies of more than a thousand women, McFadden weaves together their stories about sexuality, self esteem, and the origins of their feelings. The result is a rich and powerful narrative about the complex mother and daughter bond and its enduring impact on women’s lives.” (Syndetics)

Baby gone : true New Zealand stories of infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss /compiled by Jenny Douché ; foreword by Catherine de Groot. 
“It is commonly estimated that one in six couples are unable to conceive, one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, and 600 babies are stillborn or die soon after birth each year. The experience can be the most traumatic thing that couples ever go through. It is also very lonely and isolating. Many are desperate to read other people’s local and recent stories in order to gain comfort, however there are very few New Zealand stories available in published form. Baby Gone contains 45 true stories, written from the heart by those affected. The stories give moving accounts about the conception and pregnancy experiences, but perhaps most importantly, they talk of the emotional roller-coaster that is life after loss. The stories will help readers see that they are not alone in their feelings, and that they are not going crazy.” (Global Books in Print)

In June learn about your genie within, the conscious pursuit of personal growth, or find some answers to everyday questions about relationships.  We also have a couple of new picks particularly for those amongst us who are worrywarts or anxious to please.

The genie within : your subconscious mind : how it works and how to use it / Harry W. Carpenter.
“You have a genie that will grant your wishes. But, your genie will not grant wishes simply by rubbing a lamp or uncorking a magical bottle. The genie is your subconscious mind, and you must know how it works and how to use it before it will be your powerful servant. This book is your instruction manual. The Genie Within is not “feel-good” stories and “have-faith” platitudes. This book explains in layman terms how to use your magnificent, powerful subconscious mind. It explains how your subconscious mind works, the laws it obeys, and ten proven methods for using it easily and effortlessly. Once you have this information, you can use your genie to achieve goals, be more creative, change undesirable traits, and improve your health.”
(Book cover)

The worrywart’s companion : twenty-one ways to soothe yourself and worry smart / Beverly Potter.
“Do you lie awake at night agonizing over things that could happen? Do you automatically expect the worst? Have you worried obsessively about things only to have everything turn out okay? Instead of worrying yourself sick, let The Worrywort’s Companion show you how to worry smart and soothe yourself so that you can think more clearly, deal with the worry at hand, and then let it go. With the tips in this book you will be able to release yourself from worry and learn to enjoy every moment – no matter where your life takes you.” (Book cover)

Anxious to please : 7 revolutionary practices for the chronically nice / James Rapson & Craig English.
“Do you (or does someone you know) apologize frequently or for things you are not responsible for? Get preoccupied with what other people think of you? Become unhappy when your partner isn’t happy? Feel worried or fretful so often it seems normal? Often not know what you want? Constantly second-guess yourself? Chronic Niceness affects multitudes, causing severe anxiety and depression, crippling self-esteem, and undermining and destroying relationships. Anxious to Please reveals the primary psychological cause of Chronic Niceness – Anxious Attachment. Anxious Attachment drives the Nice Person to accommodate, acquiesce and avoid conflict. Nice People take what they’re given rather than asking for what they want, often sacrificing relationship, careers and their own integrity. Anxious to Please presents seven powerful practices designed to bring about: resilient self-esteem; a happier and calmer emotional life; a reality-based optimism for the future; fulfilling sex; and satisfying relationships.” (Book cover)

Answers to everyday questions about relationships : when to stay, when to go and how to make it work / Jo Lamble.
“Jo Lamble, Australia’s leading relationships expert, knows the answers to all the questions you’ve been dying to ask. For nearly twenty years she has helped singletons, those in the first flush of love and long-time couples negotiate the thorny territory of dating, love and splitting up. This pragmatic guide reveals how to strengthen and enrich your relationship and how to tell if it’s time to let it go. Jo quashes myths about commitment, infidelity and sex and tells you the early warning signs of trouble to watch out for – and she answers real questions from real people, showing you how to make bad relationships better and good relationships great.” (Book cover)

Personal development for smart people : the conscious pursuit of personal growth / Steve Pavlina.
“Despite promises of “fast and easy” results from slick marketers, real personal growth is neither fast nor easy. The truth is that hard work, courage, and self-discipline are required to achieve meaningful results – results that aren’t attained by those who cling to the fantasy of achievement without effort. Personal Development for Smart People reveals the unvarnished truth about what it takes to consciously grow as a human being. As you read, you’ll learn the seven universal principles behind all successful growth efforts (truth, love, power, oneness, authority, courage, and intelligence), as well as practical insightful methods for improving your health, relationships, career, finances, and more. With its refreshingly honest yet highly motivating style, this fascinating book will help you courageously explore, creatively express, and consciously embrace your extraordinary human journey.” (Book cover)

Think about a different angle this month with new books about how economic theory can help your relationship, understanding how today’s 20-somethings are approaching becoming adults, exploring child-free living, uncovering how people become the best in their field, and discovering how the philosophy of Viktor Fankl can help us find meaning in our lives today.

Prisoners of our thoughts : Viktor Frankl’s principles for discovering meaning in life and work / Alex Pattakos
“World-renowned psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning is one of the most important books of modern times. Frankl’s personal story of finding a reason to live amidst the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps has inspired millions. In Prisoners of Our Thoughts, Dr. Alex Pattakos – whom Frankl urged to write this book – elaborates seven “core principles” based on Frankl’s philosophy and demonstrates how they can help us find meaning in our everyday lives and work. This second edition features new stories and examples of people who have applied the principles in the book or who exemplify them; new practical exercises and applications; and a new chapter, “The Meaning Difference“,” which summarizes research demonstrating the critical role of meaning in improving the quality of people’s lives, increasing happiness, promoting health and wellness, and achieving their highest potential.” (Book cover)

Not quite adults : why 20-somethings are choosing a slower path to adulthood, and why it’s good for everyone / Richard Settersten and Barbara E. Ray
“Why are 20-somethings delaying adulthood? The media have flooded us with negative headlines about this generation, from their sense of entitlement to their immaturity. Drawing on almost a decade of cutting-edge research and nearly five hundred interviews with young people, Richard Settersten, Ph.D., and Barbara E. Ray shatter these stereotypes, revealing an unexpected truth: a slower path to adulthood is good for all of us. Not Quite Adults is a fascinating look at an often misunderstood generation. It’s a must-read for parents, teachers, psychologists, sociologists, and anyone interested in today’s youth culture.” (Book cover)

Spousonomics : using economics to master love, marriage and dirty dishes / Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson
“Relationships are complicated, and they don’t come with a user’s manual. Until now. Enter “Spousonomics” – a fun, original relationship guide which offers a brilliant, fresh twist to standard advice by showing how economics – that’s right, economics – is the key to happiness. For example…Comparative advantage – or why you should do the dishes. Splitting chores 50/50 is the surest path to inefficiency. Stick to what you’re good at, and ‘trade’ relations will improve dramatically; The Laws of Supply and Demand – or how to kick-start your sex life. If having sex carries too many costs – too much time or energy – you won’t do it enough. Lower your costs to get the bed springs bouncing again!; and, Moral hazard – or why your marriage is not too big to fail. If you’re too forgiving there’s a good chance your partner will feel that he or she can operate without consequences. Beware! Brilliantly researched and cutting through the noise of emotion and tired cliches, “Spousonomics” offers sound, practical advice that will help you to get your relationship back on track – and maximize returns on the biggest investment of your life.”  (Book cover)

Complete without kids : an insider’s guide to childfree living by choice or by chance / Ellen L. Walker
In Complete Without Kids, Licensed Clinical Psychologist Ellen L. Walker examines the often-ignored question of what it means to be childfree, by choice or by circumstance, in a family-focused society. Recognizing that there is no one childfree adult, the author guides the reader through the positive and negative aspects of childfree living, taking into consideration the different issues faced by men or women, couples or singles, whether gay or straight. As a woman who is childfree by choice, Walker draws upon her personal experience while also offering the reader numerous interviews with other childfree adults, revealing behind-the-scenes factors that influenced their personal journeys. She approaches the tough-decision making process of whether or not to have children from a biological, historical, and societal perspective. Offering support, guidance, and thought-provoking questions, Complete Without Kids is a productive guide for any reader considering the childfree path.” (Book cover)

Bounce : how champions are made / Matthew Syed
“Just what does it take to become the very best?  Matthew Syed uncovers the ‘hidden logic of success’ behind the careers or world-beaters from David Beckham and Serena Williams to Mozart and Picasso.  Looking at the latest in sports science, neuroscience, psychology and economics, Matthew reveals the idea of Godgiven talent to be a myth, and that the key to achieving greatness lies in hard work, and the right attitude and training.  Along the way Matthew explains how memory and inspiration prime our brains for success, why top sportsmen are able to see and perceive faster than the rest of us, and how genes are starting to matter – but not in the way you might think.”  (Book cover)

In March, learn how to unify how you act with how you speak by mastering body language, embrace failure and learn from it, use mindfulness and meditation to live well with pain and illness, delve into the weird and wonderful world of dating, and understand how attachment styles can impact on relationships – whether you’re in one already or looking for one.

Attached : the new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find- and keep -love / Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
“According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Levine and social psychologist Heller, one’s adult romantic partnerships have patterns similar to those one has as a child with one’s parents. Our individual attachment styles are thus, they conclude, hardwired into our brains. Focusing on three main attachment styles (secure, anxious, and avoidant), the authors explain the biological facts behind our relationship needs, teach readers how to identify their own and loved ones’ attachment styles, and warn of the emotional price of connecting with someone with drastically different intimacy needs. Teaching readers communication skills to breach these differences, the authors stress that people have very different capacities for intimacy, and that partners must ensure each other’s emotional well-being. Chock-full of tips, questionnaires, and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of “looking for love in all the right places.” (from Syndetics)

Living well with pain & illness : the mindful way to free yourself from suffering / Vidyamala Burch.
“After two spinal injuries, Vidyamala Burch found herself facing the loneliness of disability and chronic pain with few skills or resources to turn to. But instead of giving up, she set out on a mission to embrace her physical and emotional challenges with awareness, compassion, and peace. Drawing on the wisdom of a dozen years teaching meditation and a lifetime studying the benefits of mindful living, Vidyamala shows us a five-step model of mindfulness and how to use it to foster stress reduction and healing; the Breathworks approach to meditation and how to apply it to health concerns such as migraines, arthritis, and chronic fatigue; and step-by-step techniques and case studies that demonstrate how to effectively bring mindfulness into daily life.” (Book jacket)

Failure is an option : how setbacks breed success / Terry Robson.
“Everybody has experienced failure at some stage – and we will no doubt experience it again, perhaps many times. The question is: does failure get the credit it deserves? In this inspiring and practical book, Terry Robson reveals how success cannot be achieved without a willingness to embrace failure – and shows us the opportunity that failure presents us to reflect and reassess. He delves into the notion of failure from philosophical, psychological and spiritual perspectives, and provides the tools we need to not only cope with failure, but also to learn from it.” (Book jacket)

What your body says (and how to master the message) : inspire, influence, build trust, and create lasting business relationships / Sharon Sayler ;
“What Your Body Says gives you the straight-up’ “how-to” on unifying what you say with what you do, allowing you to better connect with other people and reach your full leadership potential. It gives you a clear and simple process to follow, all drawn from an intense study of how language impacts people’s lives and emotions. Filled with useful tools, strategies, and techniques, this book gives you the key to speak intelligently while looking smart, engaging and real; deliver unpleasant messages without pain or guilt; having a committee meeting and getting something done; and more.” (from Syndetics)

The science of single : one woman’s grand experiment in modern dating, creating chemistry, and finding love / Rachel Machacek.
“With warmth, insight, and a terrific sense of humour, Rachel Machacek tackles the world of dating with a journalist’s eye and a scientist’s curiosity. She committed a year of her dating life to trying every mainstream (and no-so-mainstream) method of meeting potential mates, from singles events and dating coaches, to speed dating and online personals. After each trial, she weighed the pros and cons. As a result, Rachel met men. Lots of men. And although she started the experiment with hopes of finding the right one, what she learns and share in the process is unexpected, heartwarming, and infinitely more exciting.” (Book jacket)