Wedding planning for same-sex couples

With the passing of the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill last night making same-sex marriage soon legal in New Zealand, here are some books for LGBTI Wellingtonians planning the big day or pondering marriage to same-sex partners:

Syndetics book coverHere come the brides! : reflections on lesbian love and marriage / edited by Audrey Bilger & Michele Kort.
“Though there are countless books on LGBT marriage and on lesbian relationships, this is the first anthology that approaches same-sex marriage between women not as a political destination but as a complex cultural phenomenon. The authors bring together photographs of brides, comics, poetry, and, most of all, personal stories that illustrate the multifaceted world of lesbian marriage. There is real courage in these pages-honest, heartfelt accounts of friends who reject the institution of marriage and families that reject the brides, trans-women’s visions of their own walk down the aisle, the bittersweet regrets of lesbian divorcees, and the unabashed joy felt by many women when their right to marry is validated.” (adapted from the Syndetics summary)

Syndetics book coverA very pink wedding : a gay guide to planning your perfect day / Nicola Hill.
“Whether you are planning an intimate ceremony or a Vegas-inspired celebration, this is the ultimate step-by-step guide to walking down the aisle. Tailored exclusively for gay couples, this handbook covers ever aspect of wedding planning, including creating a timeline, choosing a gay-friendly venue and honeymoon location, finding the right cake, sending invitations, and making—and sticking with—a budget. Useful checklists and a useful resource section packed with suppliers, websites and organizations is also of included. Charming personal anecdotes and case studies of gay men and lesbians who have already tied to the knot round out this invaluable reference for creating your perfect day. (Syndetics summary)

Syndetics book coverGhost wife : a memoir of love and defiance / Michelle Dicinoski.
Michelle Dicinoski has found the love of her life – and now she just wants to get married and live happily ever after. The only problem is, she’s in love with an American woman, Heather, and neither Australia nor America recognises same-sex marriage. What to do when pride and prejudice – love and the law – collide? For Michelle, the answer is clear: go to Canada and get hitched there. This is the deep, funny, heart warming and brave story of that trip. Along the way, Michelle reflects on why anyone would want to get married anyway, on the power of acceptance, and on the startling ghost stories in her family. She investigates the hidden worlds of people who make lives for themselves outside social norms, sometimes illegally. Michelle doesn’t want to disappear, not from her family and not from society. But living in Australia, will she always be a ghost wife? (Syndetics summary)

Syndetics book coverThe commitment : love, sex, marriage, and my family / Dan Savage.The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family
“Are Savage and his partner commitment-phobic? An advice columnist (“Savage Love”), newspaper editor, and VH1 commentator, Savage grapples with the meaning of marriage, particularly gay marriage, and delivers a book that is part essay, part family memoir to explore the larger cultural issues as well as his own feelings: Though he may sacrifice some artfulness for earnestness and is at times a little heavy with the cute comments from his precocious six-year-old, Savage is fearless at taking on the politics of gay marriage and is also brave enough, as readers will discover, to commit himself eventually to a significant decision with his significant other” (adapted from a Library Journal review, courtesy of Syndetics)

For wedding planning, including music, etiquette, speeches and more, see our Weddings page
For other books about same-sex marriage in our collections, try this catalogue search